Female perspective required...

[SomeBloke]

...name changed as she'll kill me if she finds out I've posted this...

Simple version: DP is feeling miserable over the way her body's changed since DS (now 3.5) arrived. DP spent some time inspecting herself in the mirror prior to a night out a week or so back, which i think is what triggered it.

I love her and want her, but she's unhappy, & uncomfortable about me getting close. Anyone got any advice on how to reassure a DW who's missing her pre-baby body?

(I appreciate some posters may feel the need to step in with a critique/rant about "why are men so useless at talking to their partners?". Now is not the time.)

All good advice. What about letting her know also that it isn't all about her body - you love her and want her because of who she is.

I have this issue too. I think that it's almost universal! DH tells me how much he loves my body (I'm pregnant again now) and it does help. Even if it doesn't look like it at the time.
Can you get some time out for just the two of you? I helps us to go out to dinner and reconnect a bit as a couple. A shared laugh and a couple of glasses of wine are really helpful in feeling like a proper grown up again, and in forgetting about the tummy for a while. And then if something does result from it, I can definitely second the ScummyMummy who said to treat her like the teenage virgin. Admiring and with a constant hard-on is the way to go.

Lots of compliments and don't stop / give up.

My DH has been persistent and had to put up with a lot (tied to all sorts of psychobable nonsense) but the days I feel really loved up with him are the ones where he keeps throwing out the compliments and lets me have a bit of time to myself (like today - neglecting family horribly, on MN) or when we spend time laughing WITH each other not AT each other.

ScummyMummy - you are so right!

Non-sexual touching too, like cuddles, which aren't committed to anything at the end, or shoulder rubs, hand holding, so you can both start to feel close again, but with a bit of space IYSWIM.

Perhaps i'm repeating what others have said, if she wants to lose weight then encourage her to do so, both go on a diet, ask her what she wants to do about losing weight, sensitively mention weight watchers. Suggest you both go out and treat her to some underwear/new clothes once she's lost a few pound. It helped me when I needed a boost about my figure.

Is it possible to sensitively mention Weight Watchers? I would be a puddle on the floor if DH said anything like that to me (even in the most supportive way possible).

From what I can make out with your posts, she doesn't need to lose any weight, she is just unhappy with her new post-baby shape and flabby bits.
Putting myself in her shoes I would like to be told that I was gorgeous, sexy and desirable but I would also like to have my feelings acknowledged if that makes sense.
So as well as you just telling her that you still find her gorgeous and sexy etc tell her that although you don't agree with her criticisms of her own body, you can appreciate that she feels differently about it now and ask if there is anything you can do to help her regain her old shape.
How about if you have some sort of nightly sit up competition just before bed time? Preferably semi-naked then it will lead onto other things. I always feel so much happier in my own body after it's been coveted by DH

btw, I wish more men were like you

My hubby is always telling me I look great but tbh I don't believe him as I know I am not.

Take her clothes shopping and treat her to a hair cut as well.