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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Wanting another baby...

3 replies

doily · 04/02/2005 13:39

I'm currently coming to terms with the fact that DP and I are going to split up - be it sooner or later. But it's got me thinking that it means DS is going to be an only child and I'll never have another baby as I'm 35. I am considering whether I can patch things up with DP for this reason. I know it sounds stupid and in my heart of hearts sounds wrong but I feel so sad. I don't want DS to be smothered by a sad and single mother...

OP posts:

lulupop · 04/02/2005 13:45

I understand where you're coming from, but my advice would be, don't do it.

I had my second child (DD) at a point when it seemed clear that dh and I were going to split up. She was unplanned, and I considered terminating the PG as things were so bad at home, but I couldn't go through with it.

2 yrs on things are even worse between us, although the pregnancy did provide a lull in hostilities. Now instead of having one child to be distressed by the breakup, we have 2. And from a practical and selfish POV, I think I'd be much more likely to find someone new if I was a single mum of one child, than expecting any new bloke to take on my 2 children as well as me.

I love DD dearly, and of course I wouldn't be without her now, but it was irresponsible and stupid of me to put myself in a position where I got pregnant, and tbh it's made everything just a lot more complicated and painful.

Cranberry · 04/02/2005 14:16

Doily, if it makes you feel any better I am in a similar situation. My dh and I are having major problems and I desperately wanted another child. I'm now focusing on wether or not I really want HIM and am thankful that at least I will always but wonderful ds. I would rather be a single happy mum than be miserable and stay with dh just for another child, as Lulupop says it will only cause more problems. Focus on making yourslef and your DD happy.

aloha · 04/02/2005 14:22

I only met my dh when I was 35 and had my first at 38 and will have my second on Monday when I am 41. No m/c or anything so could have popped out three if it hadn't taken until ds was two to get over the hideous sleep deprivation! Just to point out that being single at 35 does NOT mean you will never have another child.

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