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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hands up if your DP/DH has never taken you out for a meal...

16 replies

DontNeedAnything · 11/07/2008 18:05

..both hands firmly in the air here and I find it bloody depressing.

Have been together for over 10yrs and the only time we have been out as a couple are

  1. when on holiday (i.e. "forced to eat out")
  2. McD's, BK etc. as teenagers (hardly counts)
  3. Once when my employer paid for a night out as a reward (i.e. he couldn't exactly get out of it)

He has spent 10yrs grasping for excuses not to go out alone with me...but doesn't need 2 seconds to find an answer when his mates invite him out.

OP posts:
DontNeedAnything · 11/07/2008 18:23

Clearly I am alone.

That makes me more depressed....

OP posts:
hanaflowerisnothana · 11/07/2008 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sarah293 · 11/07/2008 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

zippitippitoes · 11/07/2008 18:27

well if you can afford it and you want to then id be demanding he did

or jolly fed up

just arrange it

DontNeedAnything · 11/07/2008 18:45

Thats the point of my last line.

I have tried.

I have sent DTDs packing. He always finds an excuse why we can't.

OP posts:
DontNeedAnything · 11/07/2008 18:46

Riven - I appreciate that your DD makes it harder for you. But I am talking about pre DCs as well as post.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 11/07/2008 18:47

well id ask him point blank if he has any intention of ever going out with you

if the answer is no

then you have a choice you know you are never going to go out with him so you accept it or you tell him that its not good enough and issue an ultimatum

sarah293 · 11/07/2008 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DontNeedAnything · 11/07/2008 18:56

It is not so much about the fact that we don't do it, more that I feel that I have missed something. I feel like I have been neglected IYSWIM.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 11/07/2008 18:56

well imo you have been neglected

you want to go out

he goes out with pother people

that isnt very nice

DontNeedAnything · 11/07/2008 19:02

TY Zippi.
On hte plus side what you have said reassures me that I am not an insane and demanding person.

Onthe other hand i feel [sad and that I have been neglected.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 11/07/2008 19:06

my exh did this to me he went out practically every night but never with me

i was lonely and it drove me insane

he wasnt very nice in other ways either

i put up with it for a long time

it just wasnt very nice knowing that he didnt want to stay in with me or go out with me

he regrets it now tho he still doesnt entirely realise what he did wrong and we have been divorced 8 years

we were together 23

DontNeedAnything · 11/07/2008 19:09

He is not out regulalry (unless you include footie practice).

It is just that onteh rare occasion i go - it is still with friends too.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 11/07/2008 19:12

well i think you need to just talk to him and say it would mean a lot to you

if everything else is ok then surely he will appreciate that

candyfluff · 11/07/2008 19:59

ur not alone my dh has only taken me out for a meal2 times in nearly 11 years

posieflump · 11/07/2008 20:04

so you and dh have never been out for a meal just the two of you?
I can't imagine that at all!
What do you do on birthdays and anniversarys? We don't always go out on these ocasons but we sometimes do

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