Does anyone know of a refuge for Asian women escaping domsetic violence in West Yorkshire

[assdoc]

Trying to put together a "lifeline" for a friend of my Mum. She is living in a very abusive relationship with her children. She is badly in need of help and advice on how to break free from her husband.

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quite ladymuck,

cod, i think that sometimes you do yourself a terrible disservice in how you post. i am sure you don;t care what I think though!

but it is ridiculous to pretend that cultural needs should not be met and should be ignored particularly when a woman is in a vulnerable situation

there are , for example, in manchester, Jewish social services, Jewish aged homes that cater and are qualified to meet the particular needs of their users.. should they not exist either?

it is not racist, but admirable and necessary to accomodate and look after different ethnic, cultural and religious needs

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yeah I bet any refuge would accept anyone. It's not in their nature to turn people away.

well, maybe there are christian only ones?

i think we live in a multicultural society and it is necessary to provide culturally appropriate services.

the jewish school i attended (primary) did have a small number of non jewish children too

As a professional who works with people feeling domestic abuse EMG individuals have very different needs, not relating to the colour of their skin but relating to their cultural background and heritage.

As one example do you realise that by leaving the marital home some of these women are ostracised by their entire family?

fleeing not feeling

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yeah but these hostels know about that sort of thing already (sadly)

But usually people going to school or an old peoples home are not in fear for their life? And the terrifying thing in some groups in West Yorkshire is that whole extended families will threaten the woman, so she isn't "merely" in fear for her life from one person, but often may have 20-30 men, including her father and brothers, who would prefer to see her dead than dishonour her husband.

There aren't that many specialised refuges - they tend to only be in areas with a high population of potential clients, and where convential outreach to vulnerable women has been less successful. Doubt Wiltshire has many Asian refuges.

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A lot of it is down to funding though. Hard to get a fully integrated hostel which can meet some of the specialist needs.

it's not ignorant or racist. It's real life. I imagine most refuges in West Yorks will have some idea of what they are dealing with. Stop making a deal out of nothing dittany.

Assdoc, are you a proctologist?

Some of the staff will be white Cod (if nothing else one of the fears is that staff may end up dealing with family members). And the refuges won't refuse white women, it is just that they provide specialist counselling for certain ethnic groups.

Actually, I think ANY woman faces the same sort of issues as Asian women when fleeing an abusive relationship. Women of any background face being ostracised by their families. Often a whole family can be involved in the abuse. Or, families turn their backs because they don;t believe it's happened. My friend left her abusiuve husband, and her OWN MOTHER stopped speaking to her because she'd "broken up" her family. She is not Asian, btw.

Sadly, there are not enough of these hostels, and my worry about Asian woman's refuges is that other women may have no other resource in their area, and not feel they can go there (although I'm sure they wouldn't be turned away)

IMHO, an abused woman is an abused woman (or, indeed man) and they all need the same sensitive treatment and security whater thier race/religion etc.

making someone out to be ignorant and racist out of nothing, that's what I meant.

"that other women may have no other resource in their area"

Is there any area of the country where this is true? There are so few Asian refuges, and most of them are co-ordinated by Refuge. Given that most refuges work on referal systems, refuges set up to specialise for Asian women will have non-Asian women in them depending on the pattern of referrals.

I don't think anyone has been ignorant or racsist

I dont tknow lady muck, I have thankfully never been in that situation.

It was a "what if" sort of situation. I was just making a poiunt that ALL women/men in abusive relationships face the same issues, regardless of race/culture/religion etc etc etc

But they don't. There will be similarities, but certain communities have specific challenges not typically faced elsewhere. As I understand it the funding for most refuges and outreach work is distributed nationally be a couple of organisations, and it is these organsiations, who work with vulnerable women constantly, who have determined that the needs of certain groups are sufficiently different to warrant specialised services. No one is saying that Asian women are "more" vulnerable than any other women. It is just that historically they are usually amongst those who find it most difficult to ask for and obtain help.

In any event, it is the national Women's Aid number that the OP's friend will need, regardless of whether she is black, white, Asian or Lesbian. They can then go through her options taking into account her needs as an individual.