I have not seen a friend of mine for three years now. She lives overseas, where I used to live. She was one of my closest friends, and we have kept in touch sporadically
About 3 years ago her mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. A year or so later my friend discovered she was pg. She never got to tell her mum this because as she was flying home from visiting her mum took a turn for the worst and past away.
My friend had a beautiful little girl.
A year or so later my freind was then diagnosed with cervical cancer.
She began radiotherapy treatment. Then came the devastating news that It was in fact an aggressive form of cancer and she was admitted for an operation which resulted in her having a full hysterectomy.
The day before the operation her partner told her he wanted to end the relationship. (this is the piece of news I have just recieved from her...)Iam shocked that he has done this now, he has always seemed to be a lovely and caring partner.
He has said the relationship is at an end, because she is a difficult woman and there has been too much conflict over the past few years.
He has now moved out, leaving her with no income, or support with the little one.
She is on antidepressants and under a psych. she's managed to get a nanny 1 day a week (government funded). She lost her job whilst on m,aternity leave.
She has now found out her other half has started custody proceedings for the little girl.
To top it off last night her close friend told her partner (my friends partner) had made advances to her whilst my friend was pg . Although she doesnt know wether to believe this information, she feels she has also been betrayed by this friend, who failed to tell her this information until now.
Another friend told her that her partner was seen having lunch with another woman in the park, just before he announced the relationship was over.
The point being she does not know if there is anyone else involved. He has said; 'no-one of consequence'.
Currently he refuses to tell her where he is staying, and so she is refusing to allow him to have dd for overnight stays, although he does have her two days during the week currently.
I feel devasted for my friend, and Im at a loss as to how to support her or help her to move forward. Im 12000 miles away, and have two young children.
she is also now trapped in a country that is not her home country, with no family (although she does have some good friends) and having to face the prospect that she will probably never be allowed to return to her home country due to custody issues.
I offered to pay half her flight to come here for a while (which she cannot currently do as she is recieving treatment still).
However, She doubts very much her partner (ex) would allow this trip anyway again due to custody issues.
She has had so much to face; loss of her mother, loss of her health (currently mental and physical), loss of her ability to have more children, loss of the man she believed would be her partner for life.
I am concerned for her mental and physical wellbeing and yet at a loss as to what advice to give her or how to be of any real help.