Am I being unreasonable, immature, rude, irresponsible? oh, and selfish

[Beansmum]

My mum is coming to stay with me next week, it's really inconvenient for me as I have loads of work to do and she wont be arriving until well past my bedtime on thursday, then I have to get up early the next morning for uni.

Anyway, she seems to think she's doing me a huge favour by inviting herself to stay and to be fair she has offered to babysit on friday night so I can go out to the cinema for the first time since ds was born.

I was getting pretty excited about this until I mentioned that I would like to go to the pub after the cinema for a quick drink. I thought that I would probably give ds a bottle of EBM in the morning since I might have alcohol in my system still. My mum got really annoyed, said she was shocked that I was still so irresponsible and immature and how could I think of giving ds a bottle just because I wanted a pint.

is it just me or is wanting a single pint after over a year of staying in alone not really that bad? She was getting quite upset about it and I still can't understand why.

The end result is that I am staying in that weekend and my mum isn't speaking to me just now. Am I totally unreasonable?

And I still do MI!

Do you really think that your mother wouldn't bet trusted or are you just a bit wound up by her unreasonable attitude?

Beansmum, don't you dare not go to the pub! It's part of the night out!

Help which is so grudgingly given can feel like not help at all. Is your Mother like mine, and even if you don't go to the pub, will look reproachfully at you for the rest of her stay because you even suggested it? If so, then you may as well do the action which has earned the reproachful looks! Go go go girl! (I am overcome with the urgent feeling that you need to go to the pub! )

(Apologies if this is too personal)

Do you think your Mum might have 'issues' around the fact that it is just you and bean? Could she still be coming to terms with your situation, and maybe overreacting in an attempt to 'protect' you IYSWIM?? I can't word it very well, sorry Just trying to understand why she might be being a bit daft!

lockets- edinburgh think you're down south aren't you?

I'm still a bit mystified as to why she made such a fuss, I have replayed the conversation over in my head and I really can't see what I said wrong. Maybe she was annoyed that I assumed she wouldn't mind babysitting for an extra hour or so but she'll just be sleeping anyway, it's not exactly a tough job. it seemed like she was most annoyed about me wanting to drink but i wasn't suggesting I go out and get ratarsed, I just want a pint! I miss beer!

she did say something about alcohol being the reason I am in this "mess". It's not the reason and I don't see it as a mess anyway.

go out and have that beer afterwards - you can't NOT go out for a single pint in Edinburgh!!!!

Oh FGS!!!
Sorry, but the woman is way out of order!
Go and have a pint..have several bloody pints.
It really isn't a big deal AT ALL!!!!!

Like MI I've b/fed several times whilst being pretty pissed. So bloody what?!
If you want to express then do so, otherwise really don't worry about the booze in the milk.

Looking after a baby without the solace of a few drinks?? Unthinkable.
I wouldn't have her to stay at all. When help comes with conditions it aint help at all.
Have a GOOD evening!!

I wish I could just ask her not to come, she's only coming in the first place because she has a meeting in glasgow thursday night and its quicker to come here than to go home. But unfortunately it's kind of her house.

Then she's just going to have to get over it. I think that as a responsible, mature adult it's perfectly reasonable to go for a drink with your friends and she will just have to accept that - it might just take her a while.....

Can you let her come but get someone else to look after the baby while you're out?! That will drive the point home!
(Or drop the baby off somewhere else to be minded? I am sooooo angry on your behalf.)

beansmum, do look up the threads on alcohol and b/f or just go straight to the nct website. many mumsnetters, including me, have found the info v. reassuring. i think people think you have the same restrictions when b/f as you do when pg - this is really not the case.

Go!!! You deserve it. I think you're being very responsible and dedicated to be thinking of expressing "just in case". Like others, I'd probably just bf after the drink.
"...alcohol being the reason I'm in this mess" - she seems to be overreacting. Maybe she will have calmed down by now. Good luck.

If she's going to be asleep when you come home, can't you just go to the pub afterwards anyway?

Would second, third and fourth the people who've said just feed him, don't bother with the EBM. Alternatively, ask your mum to do the 6am feed with EBM, so you get a lie-in as well

Think she's well out of order for saying you're irresponsible - you sound like a fab mum to me.