Dp has had very bad relationships in the past,where he has been cheated on a lot. I've had the same.
So when we got together, I was very sort of happy go lucky, didn't care if other women were around him, loved that he'd picked me sort of thing (he's very popular etc etc). But he was always very funny about me wearing anything he considered too revealing such as a low-ish top or a skirt and he didn't want other men around me full stop.
When I got pregnant I got very fat and insecure and originally, I started playing him at his own game, not letting him even speak about females in general without me saying snide remarks as this was how it was other way around.
But it progressed and baby's 2 months old now and I feel like I don't want him around other women at all. He doesn't like me around other men either. It's not even a trust thing, because I do trust him, but it's just like I don't want him looking at ANYONE pretty because I feel so bad about myself and I can't see how he can fancy me now I've put on all this weight. He reassures me all the time, but I don't know what's wrong with me and it's getting me down.
For example, whilst I was pregnant, he worked all night most nights at a caravan site with a lot of women and I used to get very clingy about this. When he started his new job last month he sort of reassured me there was hardly any women and they were old and unattractive, and that even if there were ten thousand supermodels there I'd have nothing to worry about. I told him not to be so stupid as now I had hadf the baby and got on my diet I no lonnger felt possessive. But he maintained his story. Then today when I dropped him at work, a beautiful woman closer to his age (I'm 5 years younger) walked out in her uniform and he looked like he was sort of cringing. I didn't say anything, acted normal, but really I feel all upset about it. It's ridiculous and I need to pull myself together, but I think I have PND, not about the baby as I love him to bits, but about myself. I don't know why I feel like this.
We've always had a very smooth, very healthy relationship overall, and I feel like i subconsciously try to create jealous feelings in myself, or sort of create a bit of drama but I don't know why because I'm so happy with him, genuinely.
I wonder if it's because in a previous 'relationship' the other person did whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted and I just had to deal with it and I felt very worthless and always had that feeling of jeaousy. there was always some dilema.
Please help me sort my head out.