I am still seething over a phone conversation I had with my Mother yesterday (as usual I didn't confront her at the time) - I am wondering whether to forget and move on or to actually raise the issue with her? Other perspectives could help I have name changed for this thread.
My Mum is a funny old bird and that I am used to - she has been living alone a long time - my Dad died in 92 - she has not had any other relationships. She suffers from depression and anxiety and does not cope with life very well. However I maintain a close eye on her finances - we have a large family network she is living in the same town as my older half-sister (her step daughter), providing casual childcare for sis and several other women to supplement her tiny income.
I have 2 children and pregnant with third, I speak to her regulalrly on phone and she visits us (and we have stayed with her) so she has an excellant relationship with her dgc. I could really do with some help sorting out house prior to baby coming - and suggested that she stay for a week when she is free over the summer. She balked immediately at theis and said it was too long and she would prefer just a few days (she lives a 5 or 6 hour train journey from us so 3 or 4 days would be cut to 1 or 2 days in real terms by the long journey).
I then worked out that her real objection was I had said that 'DH and I' have stuff to do - when I said he would be at work it suddenly became less of an issue! So in effect she was saying she cannot bear to be around DH (she said 'we would get on each others nerves'!) I don't necessarily disagree she lived in our house for 4 months a couple of years ago and I for one wanted to kill her! BUT am I oversensitive in thinking perhaps she should not make her dislike of my poor dh quite so facking obvious??!! Mum is too honest and without any empathy sometimes and it drives me insane (I remebr how she used to go on about hating Dad while he was still around which I still have issues about) - so do I have to just put up with insensitive Ma as she is I have a feeling she is too set in her ways to change?
I think I needed to vent a bit I don't feel I can talk to dh about it as I don't want to damage his opinion of her.