DH losing it with the DC - everyone is so stressed

[naswm]

I don't want to undermine him in front of the DC, but he is really not handling it well with them atm. I know it is best to let him get on with it, but I am finding it hard to sit and listen.

We're all so stressed and cracks in the paintwork are beginning to appear.

Don't know how to handle this

Maybe talk to him when they've gone to bed? If DH ever loses it with the monkeys, I always ask if if he'd have spoken to them like that if his boss was in the room.
Can you go in and distract them all? Biscuits or a cartoon or something?

yes distrsaction is a good idea, thanks

pc just crashed on me though so I managed to block them all out for 20 mins while I kicked it etc

I just hate seeing/hearing him so stressed with them. It's not their fault, is it?

Perhaps you could suggest that you deal with them until he's feeling better, have a chart or rule sheet that everyones abides by. We all have a sticker chart in our house because I thought I was shouting too much.
Scooter, I use the boss thing all the time!!

trouble is we are all stressed

How old are dcs?

4 and almost 6 and now in bed

I am trying to distract myself on mn

Screaming inside but trying to ignore it

I would get bath and bed routine over and done with by 6pm so that for the next hour you have no goals or pressures. Make it calm and lovely for the dcs, if you're up to it try stories in your bed with loads of cuddles, if not cuddle in front of the telly saving at least ten minutes of calm and loving chat at the end of the day. We sometimes do the 'I like my brother because he burps well, is good at football and tells funny jokes' then pass on the ball and that person has to say something nice about someone else in the family....... it's really good to make people kind and appreciated..... another positive exercise is to thank your dcs for things during the day at bedtime or remind them of the nice things they've done. (sorry if this sounds sappy but if I go back to this during the shitty times it does help gets things on track) Finally if me or DH have been a bit shouty or dcs have been in trouble a lot I always tell them how much i love them and how sad I was to have a day not so nice and look forward to the next.
Oh and I've just invested in some great stickers from WHSmith, things like I washed well, read well, I was a super helper etc.
Perhaps you could do a family rule list that goes on the fridge that you all have to stick to, we all have them in this house and the dcs love to remind us when we break the rules.

such great tips and advidce, thanks

I will try. I mean, I do try. And so does DH. We are just under a lot of strain atm. Sorry. Thanks again

I may take of my own advice too . I'm off to stay with my parents in China for 5 weeks with DH which is going to be very tough dealing with the flight (20mnths, 5 and 6) and no sleep, followed by jet lag nd then my judgemental parents who currently favour my dd (20 months). So I will return to this thread and take my own advice!!!

omg that sounds tough.... Good luck