Reading all the threads before I can see that my issues with DP are not unusual BUT I'm building up to a crisis...either giving up and accepting the status quo or shouting and crying.
Basically it all boils down to the fact that I have lost my DP's friendship and become his mother and I'm not sure how. I work f/t and my Dp works 3 days a wk and looks after DS on the other 2. He also has a sports related job on a Sat and two evenings a week which he clearly loves and seems to make a inordinate amount of effort for.
He's also a great dad....he has just given up on me/us....
I'm last in the pack even though I earn all the cash and go out of my way to try to make our life enjoyable and not just humdrum so holidays, DS's meals, our meals, social life (what there is of it), family commitments, shopping, gifts and he seems to do the bare min. He would far rather be on the web looking at the football scores than having a conversation with me. At night when he picks up DS from nursery he leaves it as late as poss so when I walk through the door I still have to rush around making DS tea, bathing, putting to bed. He's not lazy just a bad time manager.
We spend no time at the weekend together because all free time is used up studying/doing sport stuff. Even when we go to the park he reads the paper! If we go to his Mums he tries desperately to watch the sport or read the paper. He will sit and watch the TV from say 7-9pm and then go upstairs to start studying and keep going until 12 midnight then wonder why I'm hacked off that he's tired and unaware if our DS has been awake in the night.
Nothing that interests me gets any praise and is usually met with a childish retort so for example just booked a holiday for us and his Mum and her friend (yes I'm mad)....give him the whole plan which has been discussed as we go along...well he wasn't actually listening...having done loads of research and taken everyones needs into consideration and rather than say 'looks great well done dear' he'll say 'looks ok to me' or some other stupid comment about the tiny details....the hills or air conditioning!'
My friends are great but I can't share all this and none of them have kids so they are pretty hopeless when it comes to filling the friendship gap. At weekends I have no one to talk to and well to sum it all up I'm REDICULOUSLY LONELY and feel I'd have a far better time if I moved in a nanny and cleaner to replace his contribution...at least we could share a laugh over a cuppa.
Is this just the way life is when you have kids? Looking at my own parents I can see that they don't seem to demand much of each others time but I want us to spend time together as a family so at the weekend I feel like I've been nurtured in some way. What can I do? In the past I've tried telling him but he looks at me like I'm mad. For the past week I've tried a different approach by repaying his minimal effort with minimal effort so get your own food, functional conversation only and so on. It's been noted but he's not had the courage/interest to say anything.
I adore my DS and don't want him to grow up with a Mum that's fundamentally unhappy. I struggle to know whether DP is unhappy or not. Logic says he is but then maybe everything is exactly as he wants it.