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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sex - lost all drive, how do you get it back?

6 replies

rubyblue · 05/07/2008 13:18

I've got zero sex drive - how do I get it back? DS is six months and although we've done it a few times since he was born, it's been a real effort on my part and I almost have to psych myself up and plan it in advance. I miss the physical closeness and have tried to get DH to give me more cuddles to get me in the mood but have no interest in the full-blown, mad passionate sessions which last for an hour. DH has made a couple of comments and we're pretty open in talking about it. For the first couple of months after the birth, I was scared to even look down below (forceps and stitches), never mind think about anyone touching me there and now, I know it doesn't look the same and it sometimes hurts on the outside where scar is. And my wobbly bits don't make me feel great about myself. But most of all, I just don't have the same sex drive, not news I know but need reassurance that I can get it back.

OP posts:
girlnextdoor · 05/07/2008 17:45

Haven't any real advice but wanted to bump this for you- take it slowly- it's early days. Maybe focus on kissing and touching and not full sex for a while til you feel more confident after your body etc?

AbricotsSecs · 05/07/2008 17:55

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lou031205 · 05/07/2008 19:07

I agree that it is hard work when exhausted. Honestly, though, I have found that it's "use it or lose it" - the only way to get it back is to start doing it.

AbricotsSecs · 05/07/2008 19:54

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mashedbanana · 05/07/2008 21:35

my dd is 3 and i've only just got mine back.i could never be bothered it always felt like a chore.i don't really know what happened it just sort of returned.i started to make more time for me and dh and a bit more effort.it is hard though me and dh always had a good sex life and i missed it.you'll get there.

rubyblue · 06/07/2008 20:48

Thanks so much for the reassurance. I had a g and t last night and we went to bed early. DH gave me lots of cuddles and got me in the mood, didn't hurt and was really lovely . I am definitely going to try and make more of an effort.

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