Is it normal to be increasingly irritated by your DH when pregnant?

[JudyJones]

I don't know. He's fab and wonderful and usually I don't have much to complain about. But the further through my pregnancy I get (now 22 weeks) the more insanely annoyed I am becoming. I am having a spurt of activity and just want to get things sorted - buggy chosen, nursery furniture bought, stray domestic chores that have been hanging around for years completed. Meanwhile he feels completely absent: distracted, obsessed with fishing and football, whingey and bloody lazy. Have had words, not convinced they have had any impact. The thing is: I am finding the prospect of being a mummy overwhelming enough, without wanting to contemplate being his mummy too. But is that what all men end up needing? I look around at friends and family and wonder - lots of bossy women and quite useless men and not very respectful (or loving) relationships. It's probably just hormones, but I am veering between depressed and seriously pissed off... Whine over.

Yes its normal-and it gets worse when the baby comes along and you are both so bloody tired! BUT it does get better!

I was exactly the same about dp when I was preg. I couldn't even stand to look at him at times.
Like you I wanted all the preparing done and everything paid for and waiting just in case and he was all relaxed and chilled out about it all.
Now I'm preg again, I think he's quite nervous!!
It is mostly hormones I'd say, but men are just bloody useless. They want it all. I have to keep reminding dp that I'm not his bloody mother

I am increasing irritated with everything and everyone when pregnant. And my dh is more of the active get things done type, I still find that annoying.

He cannot win

Have you been specific about what you want him to help with? Men often don't do hints or general requests, perhaps he needs an actual task to get his teeth into?

When you see him being brilliant with your new baby it helps.

Yes it's normal. And also, it's normal for men to have a different attitude, up to the birth, and sometimes for a while after as well. You have such an intensely physical relationship with your baby, and there's no way you can stop thinking about it. He may be anxious and using those things to distract himself so he doesn't have to think about what's about to happen - there may also be an element of jealousy or worry that your relationship with him will change, which it will.

Try to talk to him without being mad, just say you would like to be able to discuss your feelings and his feelings in the run-up to the birth, ask him if he is anxious and how he thinks that could be sorted. But,if you do get mad, let yourself off because the hormones can be incredibly powerful. For me it was like 9 months of the worst PMT ever.

Message withdrawn

I have to admit that I DO seem to be in a perpetual state of intense irritation. Everyone annoys me - people at work, on public transport, anywhere...

A friend has done a pretty good job of consoling me that he will be more alert when he has a screaming infant in his face but I have been worrying about how bad it might just get, if it's already feeling a bit crap. This is the easy bit! And what if, having assumed that he was the kind of family oriented, loving man that would be an absolute rock, I WAS WRONG!?

P.S. Hear hear littleboyblue!

P.P.S WHEN does it start to get better chipkid?