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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Still give this a chance?

2 replies

suddendilema · 04/07/2008 14:13

I am nervous of putting this on here, but think that some constructive advice would be useful! So here goes:

DH and I have been rowing for about the past week about things that usually come up every now and again, he works very long hours (as do I) he is always stressed, he never seems to think about us or me, to the point where i am not sure if I even like the person that he is. Since dc's things in the bedroom have been crap, and that makes me feel like shit aswell. It's not his fault: it's me

Recently I ended up asking him if he was having an affair...no evidence for this apart from early mornings, late nights at work, lack of attention to me etc. I understand that this was hurtful to him, and I regret asking him, but I think in some silly way it was the only thing I could do to get a reaction out of him to see if he actually cares. After a huge row, we eventually made up on Monday evening. So we went to bed, and he tried it on, to which I responded, so was willing and up for it. Problem is, he did his bit, so to speak, then got off, rolled over and went to sleep! again, I know this is not the end of the world, however, I felt like he had done it on purpose to get back at me, not taking any time for my pleasure. I spoke to him about it on Wed, and his first reaction was to say 'well maybe that was just revenge!' (for asking him if he was having an affair) I feel really hurt, and discussions since have resulted in him in tears saying that it was not pre meditated, he would never do that, he was trying to come back at me with something to make me react, blah,blah, blah. I love him to bits as we have been so close for over 10 years, but I am suddenly unsure of wether to accept that this happened and move on, or not. It probably all sounds so silly, and I am making a mountain out of a mole hill, but I am not sure if I am over reacting...please help

OP posts:
ANTagony · 04/07/2008 14:18

You sound like you're both really tired and on edge. Never a good time to make decissions or try to rationalise

Someone had a thread recently about starting dating again - sounded like a really good idea to see each other as adults again.

Any chance that you could arrange a few hours just the two of you to do something together thats fun?

suddendilema · 04/07/2008 14:20

yes...crisis talks have led to going out on our own over the weekend, and booking a holiday! this has made me less tearful, and more optimistic

OP posts:
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