Husband wants name added on house

[Yanique2580]

Hi everyone
I moved into my house, which i bought with my own money with savings and the sale of my flat. My husband was struggling financially at the time so coudnt contribute anything towards the house we now live in. The house is in my name. However, the house needed renovating and my husband put in 2 new bathrooms and a kitchen , and has done most of the renovations. We went out for dinner the other night and he asked if I could add his name to the house. I told him I would think about it. Im grateful for the work he has done but I saved my own money and used the sale of my flat to afford a mortgage for the house. Also he recently added me to his insurance, as it meant I could use his car , as he used to have anxiety about driving. He had 3 years of struggling with jobs and turning down job offers because he didn't want to sit in traffic or 1drive to far, but I stood by him. He asked me the other day if I could give him money for my car insurance as it comes out of his account because its joint in his name. I asked him why he coudnt help me with 75 pounds a month and he said do you want to change to having your own insurance.🙄 To be honest I really don't want to add his name to the mortgage.

Seek legal advice.

I think there is a bigger issue in any case. Your DH does not seem a good catch, so to speak.

I find the prevailing attitude on this thread bizarre. “Why did you marry if you didn’t intend to share?” Well, maybe op thought her DH would share by paying for half the costs, rather than just taking half her assets?!

Someone may have already said this but, but if you do decide to put his name on the deeds you can decide to become what’s called ‘tenants in common’ (the other option is ‘joint tenants’). This means you are both owners but have different shares. You have a supporting contract drawn up called a ‘trust deed’ which shows how much you both own. For example him 20% you 80% or 50% each less the original flat sale price which goes to you.

You’d need to speak to a solicitor about whether you being married overwrites any of this but worth looking in to to protect your original investment.

This. And in a divorce, in a long marriage there would be no question.

I don't think you do. You offer 100% accountability for your overheads. He's paying the least he'll get away with.

You’ve been married 4 years but was he unemployed for 3 of these?

He doesn’t like driving so added you to his insurance so you can drive his car around? I assume you don’t have your own? That’s a shared expense unless you are only driving it to drive and benefit him.

The marriage sounds more of a transaction than a partnership. Are there other concerns that make you think it won’t last.

Does his half of the bills also include any payments to the house? Is there a mortgage? Was this money ring fenced in any way when the house was purchased? Is there a reason you don’t want to share the house ownership with him?

This is not true actually, if the OP dies the husband will have complex battle with probate to claim the house- so there is no absolute right to half just because you are married- it is more complicated than that.

Exactly this! I've posted before about financial matters, and how H won't allow me on the mortgage and deeds and have been told repeatedly this is a form of financial abuse. And no, I don't earn a lot of money so don't contribute a lot either. The double standards on mumsnet is very apparent.

It depends though, if youve been raising his family or sitting doing nothing.

You opened the stable door when you married him, and the horse bolted when he invested his time and work in your joint home. Why did you get married if you do not want to be married?

so he doesn’t need to be added to the deeds then!
Are there some mental health issues around all of this?
Should OP seek advice from solicitors?

He isn't sitting around doing nothing either. He pays half the bills and renovated the house...

Married.
It is half his.

I’m not on the deeds to my marital home but I’d feel like shit if I asked to be and my DH said no as it’s a shared marital asset. You and your DH need some legal advice and a frank conversation about where your relationship is going - it doesn’t seem very healthy.

If you wanted to keep your sole assets you shouldn't have got married because he has a claim on the house now regardless of who is on the deeds. I bought my house before I got married and Dh isn't on the deeds but he pays half the mortgage and we both understand he owns it jointly.

This is all quite odd op.

is this a loving marriage?

to be honest, his point of view and reversed sexes could be presented very differently here, and there could be claims of financial abuse from your side. ‘I am financially struggling as I lost my job, but my husband has just bought a house - a doer upper - in his name only. I have helped him renovate the house as I’m not working i had time to do it all. I pay half of the mortgage and bills. Now he says I’m not entitled to any of the house.’ Response - he’s financially abusive.

You’re married. My question is why don’t you want him on the deeds? Why didn’t you consider a pre nup? I feel sorry for the guy personally….

Why don’t you want his name on the flat ?

why don’t you consider finances shared ?

what happens if either of you die?

what happens if he files for divorce ?

I think it’s very misleading to say that you brought it on your own when you had been married three years at that point. Y it would be more accurate to say that the house was funded by the sale of your flat and from your seperate account. I read the first few posts and thought you hadn’t even met him. Didn’t you discuss with him what you were planning on doing with the title during the purchasing process. What was said then.

It sounds like you out earn him and therefore had your own savings when he did not. However as a married couple it isn’t really fair that he doesn’t have anywhere near close to discretionary spending money than you do. It also struck me that you haven’t said a single nice thing about him.

I think you both should consider marriage counselling. This is no way to live. There isn’t enough information here but it doesn’t look good.

Surely when you marry you are a team? You share things with each other and you are now one unit.

I think his ask is a reasonable one, seeing as though he has done all the work to it that he has.

If this was the other way round and the DH was refusing to add the wife's name to the house people would be screaming blue murder on here.

YABU.

I adore and love my DH and he is my best friend and we share everything. Neither of us would dream of doing this to the other. We are equals.

@MotherOfCrocodiles Why do you find it bizarre?
Marriage is literally a legal contract. Upon marriage, couples gain automatic rights and duties, including mutual financial support, inheritance rights, tax allowances, and next-of-kin status.

If one or both parties don't want to share finances or assets then they shouldn't get married.

Does he pay half of the mortgage?

I’m assuming you don’t think this marriage will out, so are retrospectively trying to protect assets? As others have said, he is likely to have a claim on property anyway (you are married, you bought the property after marriage, he’s done a lot of the work on it, etc). You defo need to see a lawyer to see what you can do here.

If you’re married it’s already partly his…
once married legally you are a financial unit.
You need legal advice xo