Should I find a fwb?

[JellyCakey]

Im a single mum and due to circumstances I haven’t been able to date properly, I was thinking of a friends with benefits but I’ve had them in the past (before kids) and always developed feelings, if you have a fwb how do you make sure you don’t develop any feelings, is it even possible?

Yes it’s possible. The way to deal with it is to find someone that you find attractive and like but not someone that you would want to be in a full on relationship with. In my experience it’s guys where there is something about them that you don’t like, such as their politics, a personality trait, the fact that they smoke or something. But they are attractive and good for sex 😛

See im not sure I agree with this but sorry you went through that, my ex was abusive as well but I still think im worthy of love and deserve love and that there are good and kind men out there, just my circumstances make finding one impossible so I will need to look at casual until my children are adults

Interesting people saying find someone thats unsuitable for a relationship as I think the guys in the past probably were but didn’t stop feelings developing as im quite an emotional person in general anyway! Maybe thats something I need to work on a bit more.

This is bullshit. It may apply to some men and some women, possibly even most men and most women (let's see the data, though) but certainly not all men and all women as claimed here.

This is bullshit. It may apply to some men and some women, possibly even most men and most women (let's see the data, though) but certainly not all men and all women as claimed here.

What is this weirdness? 😂

I think it needs to be someone who has a particular trait that you could never ever see past, almost to the point of it giving you the ick to consider any kind of relationship with them. And not someone who is very charming or likely to play games, because they will draw you in emotionally.

If you do develop feelings then is that so bad ? Jyst remember though it's supposed to be an arrangement to fulfil your needs and go with the flow. The sex is the most important thing

Yes it’s bad if it’s not reciprocated! Been there 😂

Fuck buddy rather than FWB may be better suited to your needs

The focus being just sex, and not the trimmings that come with the friends bit

Oh, I know I'm worthy of love. I'm just not going to risk finding it. Too much like looking for a needle in a haystack for me. For ME, the potential gain isn't worth the potential pain. I've had an absolute skinful of abusive men in this lifetime. My dad was like it and then my husband, and I put up with them both for years. I am just done. My life is so, so much better without the risk of men in it. I have a peace that I've never known. Pity it took almost 52 years. This peace has been extremely hard-won. I literally feel as if I've come off a lifelong battlefield.

But I'm glad for you that you are not as worn-down as I am, and that you still want to give and receive romantic love! I 💖 that for you.

Total tosh.

It’s worth a go, as now after kids your life and circumstances are different so it might work. I haven’t tried to approach men for this reason online But there are so many brazen men on sites for sex and just that, it comes across as they are disrespectful and users rather than sticking to the ‘F’ friend part.

Wouldnt go on a sex site wouldnt want to find anyone too out there im not really into anything too wild would just look on tinder or something!

What's a sex site? 🤣🤣 (Asking for a friend. 😁)

Like Fab swingers? Heard of it but not for me lol

Tell me you’ve never dated a woman without telling me you’ve never dated a woman.

I don't think it's any easier to find a FWB than to find a relationship tbh. You can find men who want sex easily enough, but they want it on their own schedule and expect you to sit around waiting for them and vanish when you want them. A consistent sex partner isn't as easy to find.

Was for me before kids as thats all most men wanted! Found it very hard to find a man that actually wanted a relationship (I imagine it will be even harder now as a single mum)

Yes but did you find proper FWB who would accommodate your timetable and actually be friendly? Or were they just men who wanted sex on their terms, usually last minute when they don't have other options? The latter are very easy to find, the former not so much. After all FWB is a relationship of sorts, just not a committed one.

most were the other but definitely had a couple like that, PP suggested a Fbuddy might be a better option anyway, i’ve only had one relationship and that was my children’s father.