Hi I really need people’s perspectives on this as I am feeling extremely sad, and also a horrible person at the same time.
been with my partner three years and it hasn’t been easy. Everything I was against he done . Time and time again. I stayed and gave more chances because I love him and know deep down he wanted to change and have a good life .
theres this one friend of his. They have been friends for years . Apparently ‘ best friends’ but he is bad news . Deals drugs , takes drugs , been to jail for numerous things. They were together quite a bit when we first met and there were always drugs involved . One thing Im dead against . Coke , weed Valium you name it. Apparently he was happy my partner was trying to turn his life around with out drugs but then would text him almost daily to meet up and do drugs . This pissed me off so bad .
his partner is the same as him also . Absolute nightmare . If it wasn’t for my partner I wouldn’t even know these people exist . Loads went on last year . My partner would sneak off and sniff with him. Would just leave me and promise he would be back in half hour . Wouldn’t see him until the next day . This one finished me off completely. Then one day he was supposed to meet me for food half way through work because it was the first time he was working locally . I got ready then all of a sudden he was too busy. Turns out his friend went over and they done drugs . I got so much hate for this person it’s unreal . And iv had so much hate for my partner too . His friend attacked me when I went out for a few hours on Boxing Day . I only had one drink so remember every single thing that happened . But him and his girlfriend were high on coke and both attacked me . Now . If this was the other way around I’d never in a million years speak this my friend again . But instead . Nothing was even said .
he did back off a little bit then it was fully for a few months . Obviously things have been a lot better because he wasn’t in his life no more . I can’t say anything bad about this Person . It’s crazy how much my partner will defend him . No one likes him apart from the same people like him . Even his family have said he has ways needed to get away from him and they all hate him as much as me .
for a few months hes had hardly 0 contact with him and it’s been nice . Things are finally getting there with us and drugs ect . We only the other day got things in place to move in together. He’s been taking no drugs and I know I have to trust him now . Then I find out the friend is back on the scene . It’s give me anxiety but iv dealt with it . Last night I got paranoid that that friend when he seen him the other day have him something like he always used too . So I looked in his phone and they had been messaging most of the day . I didn’t look through them just scrolled for certain words . Then I see this and I don’t know why it’s made me severely anxious and sad but it did and this is what I need to know if this is a me problem now . His friends grandad died . The message was you coming to the pub after the funeral . It’s going to be packed lol . My partner yea good excuse for a few drinks. For some reason this has me spiralling .
its just all sneaky behaviour like before . If he goes I know exactly where this will go . Him sniffing and smoking weed . And I can’t cope with it . If been through so much these last three years with him and I feel like all his promises of change and no more lies ect have just been thrown in my face . I couldn’t tell him what I seen because I know he would flip and defend his friend all over again . I just went really quiet .
i cant be with my partner when this person is still on the scene . Because I can’t live with no more worrying or anxiety . Im going to tell him today and say if he wants a future with me then tjere will have to be no more contact with his friend .
please tell me am I in the wrong here ? For feeling the way I am ? Thankyou