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Original poster

Histrionic and Covert Narcissistic Personality Traits (Cluster B) HELP

29 replies

OneBigDisappointment · 04/10/2026 13:57

  • Cluster B Personality Disorder
  • Histrionic Personality Disorder
  • Covert Narcissistic
  • Communal Narcissism

I am looking for experiences of those who have a parent with the personality traits above. I am considering NC with dm after years of trying.
I realise now that I can never be the daughter she wanted, and she doesn't feel love the way others do. I feel I have wasted years trying to be "good enough", and after a hurtful character assassination dressed up in fluff and sugar, how can I continue? How did you deal with a parent like that?

OP posts:
Original poster
OneBigDisappointment · 04/10/2026 16:51

OrangeBlossomsinthesun · 04/10/2026 16:14

Her brother (my uncle) was recruited as a flying monkey and basically tried to get me to smoothe things over and then made it clear he thought I was being cruel. So I basically lost touch with him. My brother was a great support. Other family members just very studiously refused "to take sides".

My mother tried everything at the point of NC, threatened suicide, cut me out of inheritance (but also made me an executor so I wil have to administer a will that I am cut out of hahahaha, I am sure she was super pleased with herself there) and she also told the people she sold her house to (we lived in the same village and the buyers had kids the same age as mine) several awful lies including that she had cancer and was going to die, that I had stolen all her money and tried to cheat my brother out of money and I don´t even know what else. They then blanked me for years around town and gossiped about it all for several years. The woman was later my son´s English teacher so that was really horrible and awkward and traumatising for YEARS.
She really went scorched earth, poisoned the well and everything.
NC was still worth it though x 100000000000000

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Oh my goodness; that is horrendous. What a vile woman to do all of that to her own daughter, and the cancer, there are no words. I have found having dcs really puts a perspective on things. I think I wouldn't dream of treating my dcs that way, so how could she make me feel so worthless. The mental gymnastics too were so damaging because she has often lulled me into a false sense of security, then boom back to her old ways, and only now I see it will never stop. We could be in the same room looking to outsiders like just having a normal happy chat, but that chip is on her shoulder, I am on eggshells and the elephant is in the room.

OP posts:
floriofthelorie · 04/10/2026 17:13

This reply has been withdrawn

Post withdrawn at author's request

TorroFerney · 07/10/2026 12:32

OneBigDisappointment · 04/10/2026 15:19

I am considering it, thank you. The grief over losing my DF was so consuming that I had to focus on surviving and healing from that first. He was my favourite person in the world outside of my immediate family.

I am naturally a glass half full person who hates conflict, so for a long time I’ve tried to just accept DM for who she is and see the best in her, please her etc. But the emotional and physical toll on me has become progressively unsustainable, I can only describe it as glass shattering piece by piece as opposed to say a huge event. It is like she has just chipped away at me over time.
and my priority has to be what is healthy for my DCs. I am scared because dm is their only relative left. Dh's parents are dead.

Dcs don’t have much of a bond with her as it is, and DH pointed out that they honestly won't even barely notice or ask, as they never mention her now anyway. My lingering fear has just been the guilt of whether going fully NC affects them in any way, but deep down I know having an exhausted, anxious mum walking on eggshells affects them far
more. At the same time I dont want my relationship to affect any semblance of theirs as I know they are separate.

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I think you’ve done everything you can to make this work. I say this a lot but by this stage it’s like getting bitten by a snake and instead of getting away , asking the snake why it bit you and assuming you can do something to change the snake - and it bites you again and you think if i try harder/am better then will not not bite me , I can fix this - and it bites you again ……

the fact that you are doing the classic abused person thing of explaining everything to us in your posts is a trait of someone who has been gaslit and abused and told it’s their fault tells me it’s time to step back. It will feel like you are dying inside at times but it will get better.

GreyCarpet · 07/10/2026 12:56

I went NC.

My hand was forced somewhat because I didn't realise people did that but her actions ended up involving the police and social services regarding child protection concerns around my own children.

I tried everything in could to build a relationship with her but she wouldn't allow it because she was so invested in the negative false narrative of me that she had created.

When you've done all you can, you have to just protect yourself. There is nothing else left.

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