The sheer relief of finally ending it

[JamoandGinger]

I've just come on here to breathe a sigh of relief I think, poured myself a nice drink as per my username and share how I'm feeling.

I've been in a relationship that has been more off than on, as a lot of it was good, but a fair bit of it was oh so very wrong. Last week I reflected an awful lot and decided to bite the bullet for the very last time and be done with it. No more getting back together, trying again, only for me to end up terminally disappointed and unfulfilled in the areas where I really wasn't getting my needs met.

Where there wasn't a true physical match especially. Where I could feel his interest in other women, porn etc. was always there and was always bigger than his interest in me. His endless curiosity about his long gone ex whom he had on a bloody pedestal over 5 years after she ended it.

I've been a bit of a coward and I haven't done it face to face, as I really could not bear to see him again. This has played out for over a year now and I looked at myself in the mirror and asked did I want to be doing the same song and dance in 2027.... endlessly disappointed, on repeat.

Have I done the right thing? I wish I hadn't given it another try... I wish I'd left it... knew it wasn't going to work out last year.. maybe loneliness, some compounded and complicated grief, aimlessness and just wanting male energy around... wanting sex... which didn't happen... and that has been oh so very awful. So very, incredibly frustratingly awful.

So, raising a glass to myself and to him as well.... I was kind.... but made it clear why ... same old reasons... but also made it clear that this would be it. No more flogging the proverbial dead thing. Raising a glass to encourage anyone who reads this not to settle. If you know way deep down in your gut that you're in the wrong place, please don't stay there. Guilt can keep you there too. But honour yourself, what YOU need, never compromise your fundamental values, whatever they may be. And sexual compatibility is very important too. Let's not undervalue ourselves.

I will not ignore my gut again. It is finely tuned and it kept screaming. Loneliness is a pain in the ass. But nothing beats being single and the feeling of relief that you're free from the screaming intuition to leave the place you're in and be free to move forward and embrace the new.

Slainte!

Just ran into an old friend in town and had a couple of drinks with her. She can't believe I was putting up with the crock of shoite this man was offering me.

No hangover Part II today though, just a couple.

It was great to be out, to be reassured of my attractiveness, just to connect with other people in a social setting, to laugh again, to feel feminine and myself. To feel like myself again, free, open to the new, single, hopeful and happy.

Starting to use this board like a journal, but thought I'd check back in and say to anyone on the fence... get off it.... jump off and start afresh. Drop the two tons of concrete you've been carting about!!

Thought I'd just pop back in to say Fitness Singles wanted something like £30 for me to read my messages. There were maybe two out of six guys I was vaguely interested in that looked as if they did any form of exercise at all other than waving their bus pass, so I took my profile down 😂

Well done!!

Faoi do chos!!

Faoi bhlath 😀

Or how Richard armitridge looks at the heroine in 'North and south'!

Congratulations. I called time on the same relationship last year and it is a relief to be coming back into myself again.
It’s great when you finally see your worth and stop trying to prove it someone who doesn’t respect you enough.
i got fed up of trying to explain the same things 1000 different ways.
onwards and upwards

I found this too. There was no-one in my area .... and very few actually partaked in any form of exercise