its so so wrong on every level but bear with me

[sexysister]

a few yrs ago i met my birth half brother after we had both been adopted into different families. we get on great, though we dont see each other often. last night i had a very very very erotic dream about him and when i woke up i felt really horny and havent been able to stop thinking about him ever since and wondering if he feels/or has ever felt the same. i think mayeb i have had 'feelings' for him for a while but this dream brought them to the surface. i would love it to become a reality despite being married with kids. i know this is the last taboo really but we werent brought up together so dont have that inborn 'ewwww he's my brother' thing going on. he is really more like a very good friend. how can i know if he has ever felt the same? i kind of feel like i need to know but if he doesnt then i might scare him or he will think i am a freak

this is very common with family members who have been split up for years and then brought back together.

speak to your gp as i know there is councelling that you can get for it, my friend had to go through this before she met her "real" dad who she had never seen.

i know. i know. it would be really stupid. but people do stupid things all the time. i cant stop thinking about him.

the fact that you have namechanged for a load of strangers on the internet proves that you know people would not approve of this. even if he did admit to having such feelings i doubt you would ever act on that so is there any point in risking your relationship with him for something that would never happen anyway?

Well, as you know, dreams aren't real. I think many people have erotic dreams about people they normally wouldnt consider as partners. I dont think it necessarily means anything. Perhaps you are reading too much into your dream?

As said, it is very common with split siblings. The current explanation is that people are "programmed" to favour partners with genetic similarities to themselves. There are strict societal taboos which prevent most people have any kind of sexual feelings about siblings they grown up with, but these do not seem to work in the same way with siblings you only discover later in life. Don't do it!!!

I feel for you for all the reasons that Lapin says but at the end of the day,
any romantic or sexual relationship with him, would be incest and wrong.

why is it wrong tho? cos its against the law? . i think its wrong whensiblings have kids together but even then thats kind of wrong to even make judgements about that.
i know its lust that i am feeling for him. oh and he is v similar to me in lots of ways- tho not physically (fortunately- he is a big rugby player type lol).

It's wrong (as you say yourself in the title of your post) to fuck your brother.

but the thing is hes not like my brother . we met when we were both in our thirties.

I once read an article about this - is really common to have these feelings for a sibling or even a parent you've not grown up with. But that doesn't make it very sensible to go through with it does it. Certainly something you need to come to terms with and understand and essentially to control, for your own sake and for your family.

I saw a tv documentary on this really recently actually. Think it was only about a month ago. I can't remember why it is, but apparently it is very common for siblings who have been separated from birth to feel attracted to the other when they later meet and sometimes the attraction is mutual which can cause huge problems because it is obviously wrong. I would suggest professional counselling to try to overcome this.

i am too ashamed to tell anyone in rl.

Yes I saw that too Worrybum. Genetic something attraction something....it will come to me

Genetic Sexual Attraction. GSA

Another name for it is disgusting.

That's rather harsh Irisheyes78 - judge not lest ye be judged etc.

Sexysister - as other posters have said, GSA is a recognised syndrome and hopefully you can get referred for counselling for the worries and confused feelings you're facing at the moment. You're not a freak, you're just reacting to a lot of strong feelings the way adults are programmed to react (ie through our groins!).

Please talk to your GP and please don't do anything rash - it's not worth blowing your marriage and homelife for.

Good luck & please don't feel guilty about this x

This is incredibly common in people who meet a biological relative in adulthood that they did not know throughout their childhoods. It also happens sometimes when people meet a child or parent who was separated from them through adoption, for instance.
Part of the reason it happens is that we are fed such relentless propaganda that the only relationship that matters is a couple/sexual relationship so when we meet someone who is incredibly important to us and who may well have so much in common with us that we can't think about anyone else etc etc, the easiest way to process these immensely strong feelings is as a couple-relationship.

If you have clean gene charts (ie no hereditary illnesses) and both parties feel the same way and don't intend to breed then I personally don't think it's morally wrong in itself. But it can make life horrendously complicated and be very stressful, because (as is demonstrated so elegantly on here) there are a lot of people who think their halfwit prejudices entitle them to interfere.

I agree madamez. I think sometimes that strong feelings engendered by these emotionally-charged situations get translated into sexual attraction.

We are sexual beings after all.

Could the OP get some counselling to help her to channel these emotions into a more socially-acceptable form.

However, although I am no judgemental prude, I think a sexual relationship is off the cards, full stop.