I can't help feeling annoyed but unsure if I'm being irrational.
I recently suggested to my partner of 5 years we apply for UC to see if we may get some financial support. We both work but have reduced our hours to care for our one year old until she starts pre-school.
I also have 3 other children. I work slightly more hours a week. I do 31. He does 26. We have managed but it's always paycheck to paycheck like everybody else I suppose.
I work more because I earn more. When I suggested it he became annoyed and basically came up with excuses as to why it was a bad idea. In amongst that he said his savings would make it difficult alongside the CMS he pays for his son.
I didn't think much of the savings comment, thinking it wouldn't be that much but have come to realise it's £10000.
I get that's his money. He's saved etc, but I feel annoyed. I feel annoyed because his £500 contribution a month doesn't pay half the basic bills but I've never minded as I earn more than him and he pays CMS etc. He also usually pays half of the shopping but recently he hasn't. When I say half the shopping I mean half the Aldi bill. I am always topping up in between at Asda/Tesco and these little shops often equate to £40-60.
When I was pregnant I worked a lot for overtime to buy all the big things for the baby like the pram/car seat etc. I also did it to bump up my maternity pay and save £3000 for the last three months of my maternity as the payments went very low. I went back to work when my daughter was 9 months old even though I was entitled to a year. I couldn't afford it. I had to stop breastfeeding and really didn't want to go back at that point. I feel like he could have supported me financially at this time. I also stopped my pension contributions for a year (I work for he NHS I'm a nurse). I did all I could to be financially ok. To add, he only started paying £500 when out daughter was born. It was originally £300.
I accept i have three children that aren't his and they're not his responsibility but at the same time I feel I can't work as much as I could because WE have a child together and she needs caring for obviously. Two of my children are self sufficient teens and my 9 year old was always with his dad on my work days so it wasn't an issue working full time before.
I don't get CMS payments for my children as their dad is just hopeless and works cash in hand. I feel I could be entitled to some UC Which could help but he's preventing me from applying, clearly because he doesn't me to know I found out he has all this money. He moans at me for things like the garden fence being broken and the sofas need replacing as if it's my problem, yet he's sat on £10000?
Am I just in perimenopause rage or is this a bit wrong?