Really need to get some perspective on a situation......

[gordieracer]

I have been seeing a really nice man for four months, and last night after a few drinks, he told me a couple of weeks after we had started seeing each other, he had a drunken snog with a girl in a nightclub.
I am really upset and ot sure what to do, he says he felt bad the next day and that he was confused and not really sure what was happening between us, but what do I do?

Anyone? Am I just being over emotional?

i would just forget about it if it was right at the start before the two of you were 'official' iyswim.i think the fact he's being honest now shows he respects you,and i dont imagine he would do it again now you are a 'proper' couple.

I wonder why he told you. You wouldn't have found out if you hadn't told you.

Do you think he told you because it could be a let out clause for him?

You say you don't know what's going on with the pair of you... The first few months of a relationship, nothing permanent can be assumed. It's fun and that's usually all you know. Beyond 4 months, maybe he is getting cold feet about the 'implied commitment' of being together longer than 3 months.

I only say this because once when I was dumped once at 4 months, this is what the guy said to me!! That there was 'implied commitment'.

OR........... do you think he told you because he is basically a really nice guy who wants the relationship to have a future and he is unable to keep this secret in because of GUILT??

Depends - do you like this man? Do you think it could be good between you? If so, I'd just dismiss it. When you've only been seeing each other a couple of weeks, nothing's set in stone.

also, he clearly feels he wanted to be honest with you.

if it happens again, of course, then show him the door!

A snog? After two weeks?
Thank him for his honesty, and ask if he feels clearer and surer now about what is happening between you .

He is really nice, and things have only just started to get serious. He was suprised I was so upset, but I think its mainly down to my last relationship being with a serial cheater, and I'm terrified of the same thing happening again.

He said he told me just cause he wanted to be honest and have no secrets as he really likes me.

I know two weeks is nothing, I htink its just that my perfect picture has been a bit shattered

Lol Blu, I know I'm a bit over emotional, just I swore after my last relationship ended if anyone did anything like that again, I'd show them the door straight away!

Oh The snog was ages ago!!!!!!

Don't worry. I read this differently now. He is making the shift from just fun, nothing expected on either side to let's be exclusive as they call it in America.

I think this is just coming clean. He idnd't know at the time he would end up becoming serious with you.

He sounds like an honest guy.

Thanks thats made me feel better, I just tend to panic about things sometimes.

oooh i did this, with my ex fiancee, about two weeks into the relationship, but it was because i didnt know wether i was coming or going at the time, he wasnt in touch that much...i also told him about 4 months down the line, because i knew i had feelings for him by then and it made me feel guilty, even if i hadnt had deep feelings for him at the time...perhaps thats how your chap feels.

aww he sounds lovely - forget it, give him a big hug and enjoy!

Don't over react - he's clearing the air so you can start being serious on a good footing. A snog after a few weeks means nothing.

Unless and until you have had a conversation with a new partner about whether or not your relationship is to be monogamous and what you both understand by monogamous (ie kissing other people is allowed/not allowed, flirting is permissible, etc) you are not entitled to expect anything or make any assumptions.
What your chap is doing is initiating the conversation, so the two of you can work out where the particular boundaries of your relationship are going to be. So be honest with him but don't hold that particvular snog against him when he hadn't promised you any kind of exclusivity at the time.