I have been with my partner for around 2 years. I have 2 children to previous relationship aged 10 and 12.
I was a single parent for a long time before getting with DP so I'm not sure if it's just me being set in my ways or signs of controlling behaviour from him.
The first thing was that I was due to enter a martial arts competition a year or so after we met. He was really against it saying I might get hurt, it was stupid of me to enter and he didn't want me doing it. I told him I had been involved in martial arts for a long time before I knew him and was confident enough to enter and know I wouldnt get too hurt, if at all. I apreciated his opinion but it would have no bearing on the situation, I would be entering. He could choose to either come and support me or stay completely uninvolved in my hobby...I was happy either way. He said I was stubborn and acting unfairly but decided to come to support me anyway.
The second one involved me buying a car, I always wanted a new primera. He didn't like them and tried his hardest to put me off saying they're ugly, hard to drive, badly made...I said I wanted one and would be buying one whether he liked it or not, my money, my choice. He said I needed to learn to compromise but why?? I work for my money, surely I should be able to buy what I want when I want? I wasn't expecting him to drive it.
Now the third one has caused a huge rift between everyone involved. I told him I fancied taking the kids to New York for a week, would he like to come too. He said "Yes, but not yet". I said "when then?" and he said "dunno, not really thought about it" So I told him I was looking to book by the end of the month, did he want to come with us or not... he said he wasn't sure if he could afford it.
Anyway to cut a long story short, he then went out and bought a playstation 3 with a load of games for £400...from that I assumed he had the money all of a sudden ( ) so asked him again, "do you want to go or not? I'm ready to book..." so he said "don't know yet" so I booked for me and the kids and we are due to fly in October. He was furious, said I was selfish, said it was a stupid, dangerous thing to do and he would "not let me go" I reminded him that I was not asking for his permision and WOULD be going. He then went around my family telling them what I'd done and turned them against me, my mum said I was stupid going to NY alone and that "anything could happen" and one family member even said I was putting the kids lives at risk "just to prove a point".
I'm sick to death of the whole thing, surely if I want to go somewhere I should just go? since when do you need permision just because you're in a relationship?
Or have I been single so long that I can't see I'm being overly stubborn and selfish??