Haven't been on mumsnet in yonks but really need some comfort right now please!

[Charlee]

I used to come here alot so some of you may remeber me, sorry i became distant but i often browse looking at what your all up to, tonight i need to post to clear my head so please don't feel you have to reply.

I am having a real tough time at the moment and i think dp and i are very close to splitting.
I will try not to put him down to much as he has alot of emotional problems as his mother did a royal job of screwing him up with abuse as a child and teen.
I am currently at therapy once a week for major depression possibly bipolar and i think i may be hormonal due to oncoming pmt which has very much brough this to the surface this week.

DP and i are arguing about everything, he says i have changes since our 2 boys have been born which i am 100% sure means he is fed up becuase we can't go out every night and the fact that i have a sex drive on a minus scale which has nothing to do with the boys but is all to do with my worsening depression.
He seems to be reverting back into a teenage frame of mind of latley although it could just be me imagining it where i am so emotionally exhausted which is greatly effecting my health.

For instence, today i asked him to do the washing up, as i have done it for the last few weeks and have blitzed the house today, he said yes when he gets round to it, he eventually stormed in there about 2 hrs ago and spent 1/2 hour doing them whilst throwing them around the kitchen, sighing anf huffing. I mean seariously i know he's only 22 but he was acting like a moody 15yr old!

He seems to think relationships are rosey that you settle down, party alot then have kids get married have tons of sex and everything is hunky dory living happily ever after, i am trying to pint out it is not! We don't go out we have NO babysitter, we have a very sick little boy with cystic fibrosis who needs alot of medical stuff everyday, we also have a 18 month old who ig teething badly and is quite distructive bless him!

I dread the weekends, i wake up every saturady morning with bad chest pains and breathlessniness becuyase i have come to expect the arguments to start early saturday and carry on untill monday morning and this week has been no change. It carries on untill each week he storms out the house saying he's 'keaving us' then returns at the end of the day with chocolates saying how sorry he is and then it repeats the next week.

I have bad health as it is which is a bug bare for him and when i get ill he says im putting it on so i don't have to look after the kids, he also flys off the handle if ds is taken into hospital as 'his life is so shit' his words not mine.

He has been on anti d's and been to the dr for his anger they told him they souldn't so anything unless he was physically violent which he is not, he refuses to go back saying there is nothing wrong with him.

I have got to the poin today where i wish he would go and leave us to get on with it but he refuses, we have no real friends and he has no close family so he's got nowhere to go.

I don't know what to do anymore. Can;t stop crying.

Sorry for the long post really need to feel like i have got it off my chest.

Oh God, sounds awful. Not a lot helpful to say but I hope you work something out xxx

I have nothing helpful to say, but [hug] since you sound like you need one x

oh dear. i was wondering how you were all doing the other day as hadnt seen you on for a while.

wish i could help, but i'm sure just listenign helps

I'm really sorry that things are like this.

Have you thought of doing the three wishes thing together? Each of you writes down what you would wish for if a magic fairy godmother could grant you three wishes. Now I know that it sounds very childish but it may make you see what each other really wants from life/feels about current situation/ and help you to talk together in a less confrontational way.

I'm not surprised you are depressed.I think you are having a really hard time.how old are you? It sounds to me as though your dp is simply a typical 22 year old,in that he is still quite immature and selfish.Can you ask your GP if there is any other help that you can rope in?are there any little things locally to you like a library story telling time or other not too stressful thing that you can go to with the kids and meet other parents without feeling too overwhelmed ?I feel for you,really and hope that things get better soon.

Hi thanks for your replys, i am 21 hellymelly, i know i am young but i cope well with looking after the kids and general life, i am doing well looking after ds with him being ill its just me and dp i am finally after 6 years finding a real drain. I am gradully sorting me head out therapy is really helping, and i am getting braver and have made a few friends through different parenty type things.

I just feel so stuck as to what to do at the moment, i am a tough cookie usually but just can't overcome this once anf for all. I guess he is being a normal 22 year old and i have always said he was to young to have kids ect but they are here now! Our relationship has gone downhill since Jack was born 3 1/2 years ago but the rate of decent is getting more and more especially since jacks diagnosis in Feb'07.

I find myself trying to distence mysefl from him at the moment, taking the kids out whenever possible and making excuses to go to bed early or late or just plain sleeping on the sofa, i think things are deffinatley gong to end sooner or later wether it would be just for a break of for good i don' know but i wish something would give, the amount of times i have had to sit him down and say ' I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE' and everytime he just says he hates howmuch i have changed sine the kids have been born and he will try to help out more and control his temper, and try to be more understanding about the sex thing, it lasts a few days then stops.

He talks to the kids like crap and although i am no model parent i am trying so hard to be a good mom to them and i am doing really well.

I just feel so exhausted with going over the same thing and stepping on egg shells waiting for the new argument to start and they are always over such stupid things! If i sit him down for a proper grown up chat with no shouting he laughs in my face, if we do end up shouting i end up crying and he says ''if you don't like it then leave' i honestly don't know what to do but i don't think i can take it much longer before i break down i have been there before over different matters and don't ever want to go back there again especiall not now i have the children to think of. It's really helping talking about it though, thanks everyone. x

are you on msn at the minute?