help

[juliec26]

my husband left a week ago saying he was unsure he loved me in the right way anymore - it came as a total shock as nothing has been wrong - he came back 2 days later saying he was still unsure and just doesnt know what he wants - I know for sure there is no one else, but I just feel in limbo as he is back, but wont leave until he is sure it is the right thing to do - he wont talk to anyone about it and wont talk to me - I am truly devastated and have not been able to eat all week or concentrate on anything - I don't know if to tell him to go, but feel if there is any chance I should not give up and feel if he sees how nice home life is he might stay! any advice please!!!!

I think I would say to him, that its all right him being unsure but being left in limbo is awfully hard, and you both need to work your feelings out and I would then suggest you both go to relate. Find your local relate here

This is totally unacceptable. He can't tell you that he is unsure about his feelings and then not talk about it.

You will have to insist that you sit down and talk. If he won't, then I think you should ask him to leave again until he can give you the respect that you deserve, and try to communicate with you.

So sorry you are having to cope with this, as I know from experience how hard it is. But CG is right - he sounds like he needs to talk to SOMEONE even if he can't manage to open up to you.
Relate will help you both as a couple or individually to work your way through your thoughts and feelings. Evreyone says they are fantastic, - I could never persuade my H to go, and he has made the decision to leave, so I hope things work out better for you.
Interestingly though - in retrospect, I'm glad he has gone, so many things are better without him around.
In the meantime - be kind to yourself, treat yourself a bit, at the same time as pointing out to him that as part of a couple he owes you an explanation of some sort, and clamming up will help no-one.

i agree it is very unacceptable - we have a 2 yr old dd who he loves very much - he has said he is not sure if he fancies me anymore which is the most hurtful thing he has ever said - I have said for dd sake we need to talk about things as an unhappy mummy is making her unhappy as I cry all day! - He said he will always be her daddy.. to which I replied yes you will always biologically be her father, but a daddy is there for bedtime stories etc and wouldn't walk away! - everytime i try and talk to him he just says nothing - I have asked him to look at relate website, which he said he would, he says he is sorry for putting me through so much stress and for hurting me so much, but thats it! nothing else - I want to tell him to go when I feel strong like now (2 glasses of wine) but worry that will be the end and i will be left to cope on my own and worry I can't do it on my own! xx