Do All Men Feel That Being A SAHM Isnt Really Classed At Work?

[chinchi]

In the middle of a barney with DH as I was late getting back this afternoon and he needed the car for work. Anyway, he set off in a huff before we had time to talk.

I text him saying I was genuinely sorry for being late, but there was traffic which I couldnt do much about. He replied that I dont know my responisibilites and he has to go out and work in order for me to go out and enjoy time with my friends (Id been shopping with a friend and was only 3 hours).

I text him back and said that why do he not feel that being a SAHM is hard work, and that I dont get anytime off whatsoever from being with DS. Whenever I go anywhere, DS comes too. DH sees him for all of 4 hours a day due to his work, and despite having 2 days off a week, it can be guaranteed he'll visit his friends on one of those days.

Anyway, more to the point, I always get it thrown in my face that being a SAHM isnt really work. He thinks I have it easy because I can come and go as I please and Im in the comfort of my own home.

Do most of your partners feel this way? What can be done to help them realised that its bloody hard work?

oh, and i work with a lot of guys marries to sahms too. ime the men these men can be grouped into two categories.

Category 1: Wants their wives/partners to be sahms or realise there is no choice for whatever reason. They tend to be happy and appreciative of their SAHW.

Category 2: The ones who want their wives to work for various reasons, but the wives want to be sahms. They tend to be resentful and also very flirtatious around the office

Sadly my dh is cut from the same cloth as the OP's, one doesn't really count unless one brings money into the household. never mind I'd be working for a loss after paying out for childcare for my 3! [4, 2. 17wks]

I can understand exactly what you mean Nightbynight, for a while I was the sole breadwinner, but Dh felt emasculated, and in the end I had to leave my job (that I loved, but crap pay) so he could return to his trade (better wage, but he hates the work. long hours too) so he could be the provider.

That said, I am up before him, go to bed after him, am up a couple of times in the night, yet am still told I'm lazy.

Hope he calms down soon.

DP believes that he works and I don't. It's his money and her should decide what I spend it on. He won't spend a moment alone with dd as he's not confident without me there. He believes what the he wants.
It makes me want to go back to work just to be free of my ties to him. That's such a shame as my time with dd has been the most precious time of my life.

I work part time evenings only 12 hours a week out of the house and approx 5 hours a week from home. Me and DH still have 'the' argument, that he works and I don't. It drives me insane and is the only thing we argue about. I have DD 6 who is at school and DS 18 months who is hard work and is yet to sleep through. I am on the go from 5am to 11pm (3 hrs a night at work) DS regularly wakes up 5 times a night, twice a night is good going. Once when arriving in the house and asking DH to complete some small chore, I was greeted with 'You do it, I work'. Well, where the fuck have I just been? was my reply. No man I know considers his wife's sah responsibilities as work

I work part time evenings only 12 hours a week out of the house and approx 5 hours a week from home. Me and DH still have 'the' argument, that he works and I don't. It drives me insane and is the only thing we argue about. I have DD 6 who is at school and DS 18 months who is hard work and is yet to sleep through. I am on the go from 5am to 11pm (3 hrs a night at work) DS regularly wakes up 5 times a night, twice a night is good going. Once when arriving in the house and asking DH to complete some small chore, I was greeted with 'You do it, I work'. Well, where the fuck have I just been? was my reply. No man I know considers his wife's sah responsibilities as work

Thats how strongly I feel about it!