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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Seeing someone who admitted affairs during a long marriage, should I leave?

27 replies

messyhairdontcare25 · 23/08/2026 00:01

A guy I’ve been seeing has admitted he had a few one night stands when he worked away a lot during his 30 year marriage. I need to run right?

OP posts:
FlyingBeGoat · 23/08/2026 23:47

NotMajorTom · 23/08/2026 21:18

Good question

on Mumsnet the advice would be that what you did in the past doesn’t define you, any partner should accept it, and your husband probably deserved it anyway.

Show quote history

Yep - gender bias means that when men cheat it’s the man’s fault- but when women cheat it’s probably the man’s fault anyway 🤷

so cheating women are told not to worry about it - but cheating men are thrown into the depths of hell

MyTakeIsntYourTake · 24/08/2026 18:17

Brightbluesomething · 23/08/2026 11:11

He’s testing you to see what you tolerate. If you stay it’s the green light for him to do this to you. It’s up to you whether this is the life you want but he couldn’t be clearer.

This. You'll never be able to trust him. He thinks one night stands are acceptable.

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