Have I been dumped or not. I’m confused

[Lara98]

Hi everyone I was wondering if anyone can help me understand my situation. I’m in a serious relationship of a couple of years & my partner just told me he’s no longer going to put any effort in. I asked him what that meant & he said do what you want with that. So I asked why he couldn’t just break up with me directly like an adult & he said he wasn’t breaking up with me but I can do what I want. I then asked if that meant if I was single & he said that’s up to you. This came totally out of the blue & I still don’t understand what he meant or what I’m meant to do from here. Any help understanding this would be appreciated

Yea it’s over, don’t tell him that though. Leave him hanging & let him wonder. You dodged a bullet there.

He’s saying that so he can do what he wants with no criticism because he’s told you to do the same.

That's terrible, treating you like that, so hurtful.
I would take it the relationship was over.

He’s playing mind games, testing you. .
Don’t play.
End it.
when he tries to come back or gaslights you BE STRONG.

Jeeze what a hopeless oik. You can do better. Send him a thumbs up text, block and move on.

He doesn't care about you any more, at least not as a partner.

Ignore him from now on.

I am sorry for the hurt but time will repair that. x

Even AI says:

Your partner is using emotional avoidance and manipulation to force you to end the relationship. He refuses to take responsibility for breaking up, leaving you to do the painful work while he avoids being the "bad guy."

‘I want to be single, so off you trot. Have a happy life; I know I will’.

And this:

No longer going to put any effort in": He is quitting the relationship emotionally and wants you to carry all the weight or walk away.
"Do what you want with that": He refuses to communicate clearly or solve problems together.
"I'm not breaking up with me / That's up to you": He is shifting the blame and the choice onto you so he can claim he did not quit.

Finally:

Fear of guilt: He does not want to feel bad for hurting you.
Cowardice: He lacks the maturity to have a hard conversation.
Keeping options open: He wants the benefits of a partner without the duties, or he is waiting for you to make it official so he feels justified.

AI was easier.
But, fgs, just pack and go. Keep your dignity.

Thanks for the replies it actually got worse because I called him stupidly just to get an explanation. He then said I don’t want you to call me again and I don’t love you anymore. Everything was fine and there were no signs whatsoever. I just can’t believe he can end a serious relationship with no explanation or respect. I’m totally heartbroken 😭

What an arse. At least you have clarification now although from the first conversation I would have taken it to mean it’s over anyway. Why would you want to be with someone who has such little respect or thought for you? I know it hurts like hell at the moment but hopefully the appalling way he’s behaved will act as a reminder of what a dick he is and help you move on from it. Don’t contact him again, it won’t help.

Another arsehole.🤷
I'm sorry you're having this experience, I know how hard and upsetting it is.
The pain will lessen as the days go by. In a few weeks you will realise that he was not worthy of you, and there are better and nicer men to meet.
Don't waste your time trying to analyse his (shitty) behaviour. And definitely don't contact him. 💐

Well give yourself the rest of the day to wallow. Then re read the responses to your post and realise that by being such a limp dick he has saved you years of therapy and anguish . Call up a few friends and arrange a mid week meet up, and something fun for next weekend because it’s a bank holiday and you don’t want to be stuck at home.

Oh, and block him.