Hello
I’m pretty devastated. I left my fiancé on Friday as I could no longer deal with the emotional safety issues.
in our time together she lied about deleting her bumble account, lied about her whereabouts, lied about how much she was messaging her ex, complained that the engagement ring diamond wasn’t a big enough carat and then told my darkest secrets to her friends. This turmoil made me anxious, unsafe and overwhelmed.
We’d been on and off recently and I visited her and had a bit of a breakdown, i told her how much things affected me, how vulnerable I was feeling and was deeply upset. It felt cathartic. It felt like at last we’d made massive progress as we bounced back better than we had before.
the following day I found out that she’d shared my breakdown and how the doctor had recommended antidepressants to her friends. It was a constant leak to her friends about me. I get that friends are confidants but surely a relationship is a wall of secrecy.
I left her on Friday quite abruptly and now she has blocked me everywhere and says she never wants to see me again.
I’m so sad as I thought we’d made it through yet the safe place I thought it was, just dissolved beneath me and I felt truly shattered by it.
My deepest regret is not talking to her about it all but after the last conversation was leaked to her friends, like many others and those that I said don’t tell anyone, I felt like she didn’t have my back.
I do love her a lot. But this feeling of being unsafe was higher and the love is just too much of a cost. It’s so sad.
I feel that the blocking is unjust. It’s brutal and we no ability to separate amicably and show some warmth. Last week we made love and were happy but underneath it, I knew she was talking about my emotional fragility with her friends.