Relationships..

[megggggg]

Hello, I’m in a relationship with a man for 3 years we have a daughter together, she was premature and I had a c section and he was the only one by my side my family didn’t even care.
he broke up with me a few weeks ago because he couldn’t bare the arguments however the arguments was about him being sat in the pub and not appreciating our time together since he lives with his mum so I valued our time? He obviously didn’t.
anyway I was heart broken and we agreed to take it slow and start dating again everything is on his terms all the time..
we have just been to caravan for 3 days I paid for everything and the holiday he barely even offered apart from drinks? And now we came back he’s had to go to the pub straight away..
i don’t know if im wasting my time but leaving is so painful :( can someone give me advice?

You’re wasting your time

Agree with PP. At least you don't live together.

You have a child and he lives with his mother? And his hobby is going the pub?
Get rid.

Yes you're wasting your time. He's a loser and a bloody sponger! You can do better lovely 💐

Honestly I’m completely understand I’m being a mug but it’s like crushing the heart break and I’m already worn out because I have 3 children but oldest two lads are with someone I was with for 8 years and I walked away from him because it wasn’t working and I guess it’s like for another relationship with a child to not work is soul destroying I know people will say well you shouldn’t have had kids but these things happen and I love my kids with all my heart everything I do is for them but I’m just so drained from relationships and I think if this is It then I’ll never have that proper unit with a man? Which I for some reason think that’s what kids see as stability I know it’s silly

It is not silly to feel that way but it’s not going to help you now.
You are a mum to three children - let that be enough.
This man is a waster - I don’t know how old he is but there is no future with a man who lives either with his mother or in the pub.
I know it’s hard and upsetting but you deserve better and so do your children.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.
It doesn't sound like he cares about you at all.

You think you’re going to be heartbroken if you leave, so you stay. But really, you’re afraid of being alone.

From what you’ve described, he doesn’t sound like someone who is even trying to fill your glass,he’s actually putting holes in it, slowly chipping away at your confidence and self-esteem. It also sounds like he may have a serious problem with alcohol.

Maybe it’s time to focus on yourself and your little one, and make sure you’re seeing your two eldest regularly, if you aren’t already. We all want love, attention and companionship, but this situation sounds unhealthy. In time, I think you’ll see that you deserve so much more than this.

do you have your own home,job,friends

Well you know, heart breaks don’t kill us. They suck but they pass. You know what doesn’t? Loser ass men who expect women to pay their way for them and do t even live with the mother of their babies. He’s a fucking loser op. And a user too.

So what if you have to go through a bit of heartbreak. That’s life. It’s part of being human and it won’t be the first or the last.

As for being on your own, look at what being in a “unit” has given you so far. Misery.

Better to be single than with a BUM.

yeah it does make sense I just feel nothing but guilt for putting my kids in this situation I’ve given them these people in there life :(

Well, kick this one to the kerb and concentrate on being a good mother.

True but you don’t improve the situation by keeping this man in your life and pretending he’s the father figure you wished he could have been.

This chap sounds like a complete loser, and the sooner you realise this, accept this, the sooner you can move on and put him behind you, especially if he’s disinterested in being any kind of father to his child. If he wants to be in the child’s life, you keep all communications on a strictly business level.

I also think you need to forget about men for the foreseeable, concentrate on getting yourself strong and creating a calm safe home for you and your children.