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Relationships

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Meeting up with an ex (dated for a few months)

14 replies

Rachaelf37 · 15/08/2026 18:35

So I dated a guy who is in the army based down South but who has a flat up North in a city close to me. We dated for four months but only saw each other 15 times. We saw each other one evening a week when I had my son and a day and evening a week with I didn't. Sometimes I wouldn't see him for two weeks when he had things on.

Anyway after 4 months he broke up with me. We had chemistry but he's not the kind of guy who is all over someone in public, he's quite reserved. Towards the end my ex created a massive scene where I nearly had to pick my son up as he was drunk and he kept ringing me when I was with the guy I was seeing. He didn't say much but I think he found it a lot. He hasn't got kids.
When we broke up he said we are very different and he lacked a deeper romantic connection. I asked if he was attracted to me and if he looked forward to seeing me and he said yes. I said why can't we give it more time and he said he'd be leading me on. So we split beginning of May. I tried to reconcile a month after we split he says no.

Anyway I left him alone for a couple of months then asked if he wanted to meet up to catch up so we met today for 3 hours, we went on a walk and he suggested something to eat then he went to meet his friends. He suggested meeting again at some point for another walk. The trouble is I enjoyed spending time with him and it was lovely to see him but I am always going to want more. I'm going to be hoping he changes his mind. He hasn't proactively text me since we split.
I have been on dates but they just don't compare to him. I'm not sure what to do. Whether to see him again then be honest I want more? I

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 15/08/2026 18:39

Sorry, but this is going nowhere.

MagpiePi · 15/08/2026 18:44

It couldn’t be more obvious that he doesn’t want to date you. Leave him alone.

Mooseylooseyloo · 15/08/2026 19:01

Save yourself the heartache as I dont think this is going anywhere im afraid

Rachaelf37 · 15/08/2026 19:13

Maggie - I understand your sentiment but it's a bit harshly written.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 15/08/2026 19:24

It sounds like you've been pining for him but he's not into you romantically. This will go nowhere and you'll end up getting hurt. Stop contact.

Userengage · 15/08/2026 19:32

He’s not interested in you, please stop chasing him.

Rachaelf37 · 15/08/2026 19:32

Probably. It's hard because he was very into me romantically for most of the time we were together. Like he'd always cuddle me on the sofa and in bed we'd cuddle throughout the night.
Whenever we'd kiss he'd then initiate sex, sometimes as soon as we saw each other. He'd speak every day by text, he text me first a lot and always arrange to see me and ensure he booked in seeing me before he arranged to see his friends. Things seemed to change and he stopped intiating contact as much after the ex incident, and my ex kept ringing me all the time we were together, he then he broke it off a couple of weeks after that.

OP posts:
Rachaelf37 · 15/08/2026 19:41

Also my ex is an alcoholic and he's aware of that

OP posts:
username2185 · 15/08/2026 19:43

He probably cba with the baggage or ‘crazy ex’ scenario. I wouldn’t bother wasting your time, unless he starts to make more of an effort or makes it clear what he wants.

whippersnapper55 · 15/08/2026 22:32

I think you're wasting your time with him and you're not going to get over him while you keep hanging on to hope. He's made it clear he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Cut him off now.

category12 · 16/08/2026 06:59

Stop chasing the guy.

You say he was very into you "romantically" but go on to just describe him wanting to sex and physical affection. That's just fancying you at the time. It's not exactly romance.

You're just opening yourself up to a world of hurt pursuing someone who has dumped you and who isn't even keen to be in contact with you.

Delete his number and get on with your life.

Rachaelf37 · 16/08/2026 10:04

We went out to dinner/ mini golf, comedy shows, lunches , walks etc all the usual couple stuff.

I guess I'm struggling letting him go as he's the first guy in years I've even got that far with since I broke up with my boys dad four years ago and I really liked him. He was calm and steady after my ex. I thought we were getting closer just as he ended it.

OP posts:
category12 · 16/08/2026 10:37

He's dumped you once.

He's told you no to reconciliation once already.

Stop ✋️

ForTipsyFinch · 16/08/2026 10:57

It honestly sounds like something with someone else has fallen through so he’s circulating back again. He knows you’re always going to be around as an option. I would tell him absolutely not, from an outside perspective this is clearly going nowhere.

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