I feel so let down by my husband.
It’s been a hard year - i had a big operation at the start of the year which prevented me from working 4 months. We have always gone 50/50 on all finances. And I pay for my car and anything associated with me and my kids.
I have two children from a previous marriage. I have found this year very difficult for a number of reasons, I felt stripped of my independence, and not being able to work has been difficult mentally and financially. There have been lots of comments from him about my lack of earning - “my money” “I’ll do what I want it’s my money”, “it’s none of your business it’s my money” just lots of really unkind unnecessary comments relating to money. It’s made me feel horribly guilty.
I now have a new job in a family members business and that itself has come with its own challenges and my husband has made comments like “we haven’t all been handed a business on a plate”, “you spend more time with your family than me”.
We do nothing but argue and I’m so lonely, he likes to drink and smoke, he spends a lot of time sitting in the garden in this weather drinking and smoking in the evenings and I sleep in our bed on my own - he is in the spare room - it’s been every night this week, we used to hang out but I can’t really drink these days after my op, . Throughout this entire period I have paid all my bills, paid everything to do with my children, and as soon as I started earning I made sure I paid into our house account. Tonight we had another argument and he said “I’m not like other wives” and the honest truth is I don’t think I am, I am just so deeply hurt that he is so resentful and says all these horrible things. Other women I know are looked after by their husbands, not just financially but I don’t think they are subjected to this. Everything is my fault, he takes no responsibility and I feel so let down. The resentment really worries me, I hate it. Where do I go from here? I am so exhausted, he’s very reactive so dealing with him is so hard.