Would this betrayal hurt you?

[WallaWTF]

Sorry it’s late, I can’t sleep. I have an abusive ex who I was with for 8 years, we have two DC and I finally managed to leave him with help from the freedom programme and they felt the trauma was so bad they wanted me to do a further course called ‘breathe’ which deals with PTSD.

He got together with my stepsister a year ago. It was fervently denied… My father was fully aware of the situation and refused to be honest and let me know.

fast forward a year and I’ve had it confirmed, via my adult DD. Apparently my father didn’t feel it was his business to let me know despite the fact his wife’s (who doesn’t like me or anyone in our side of the family and is estranged from two of her her own children) daughter was in a relationship with my abusive ex and they had been entertaining him and looking after my children on his behalf.

I don’t mean to drop feed, it’s a long an complicated story but that is the basics.

I feel so angry and hurt.

Just be glad you're free of him.

I hate liars. It is a betrayal. Distance yourself from them. That's what I would do. It won't be long before he shows his true colours.

Yes that is a really hurtful betrayal.

Are you still in contact with your father OP.?

Doesn't sound like you've lost too much OP, just be glad he's out of your life and someone else's problem.
As for your DF and his wife, they sound like people not many would want to be around.
Obviously like you said it's a complicated story but on the surface from what you've said, you're better off without him; and without them, in your life

Sounds as if you've been through a lot of trauma and upset having the authorities involved in your case, why should you feel betrayed?
I would only be concerned about my DCs being with them, with all of them, but that's another story for you to figure out, maybe with official help. Just be glad that you don't have to deal with the physical abuse, and the mental abuse of your family. Cut em loose and move on, after you've sorted out the rights of your children spending time with a documented abuser.

Very hurtful.

Stay strong.

Sounds fucked up, just be glad you’re out of it, bit sad that your Dad wasn’t on your side though, the one person in the world you should be able to rely on. Big hugs 🤗

You are lucky to be rid of him.
Your stepsister....not so lucky

Your father can’t control who his step daughter chooses to be in a relationship with. He shouldn’t have denied the truth when asked but there was nothing he could do about the situation either way. It would help no one for your father and step mother to cut off your step sister and your ex because presumably your step sister is going to need her family as much as possible considering she’s got together with an abuser. There is nothing anyone can do about the situation.

I wouldn’t be surprised if your abuser knows that it will upset you that he is with your step sister and that is a big part of his attraction to her.

Is this out of character behaviour for your dad?

Or is your dad / childhood part of the reason you ended up in an abusive relationship in the first place?

Often it's not out of nowhere that we end up in abusive relationships. Maybe your dad is toxic.