Dealing with a relative who only makes contact to share bad news and drama.

[YellowLantern]

My sister has a terrible temper and her life has always been filled with drama - spectacular falling out with friends, bosses, boyfriends often to the point of police involvement. Whatever the situation it's always the most major drama and she is always the victim.

I'm the exact opposite and hate drama. I'm probably steady to the point of boring and work hard to keep a peaceful contented no dramas life to the best of my ability.

Because we're so different we see very little of each other but I keep in touch with the odd message, card or text. She very rarely replies.

The only exception to her silence is about once every year or so a big drama will blow up in her life and she will get in touch and then it's 2 weeks of drama, telling me how awful her life is, her health is suffering. I try to support her but she doesn't want answer, just to share the drama I think. Then I don't hear from her again for months.

I'm in my 40s now and am so tired of it. It sends my blood pressure through the roof and worries me for weeks on end.

I just wondered if anyone else has to deal with this sort of situation and if they have any tips to deal with it or stay more calm when it happens.

Don’t engage with it. A fire can’t burn without air. Just say “sorry to hear that” and talk about yourself. Hopefully she’ll get the message.

When she gets in touch, leave it 2 weeks to reply. Hopefully the drama is over before you speak.

@Firefly100 @Gymnopediegivesmethewillies
These are both brilliant suggestions Thank you. I will definitely try them.

I would not send her any more cards or text messages. You are probably one of the very few people who bothers with her but she really is not worth bothering about.

What do your parents think of your sister’s behaviour?. Do they say things like well you know what she’s like?.

@AttilaTheMeerkat You're right, she's driven everyone else away. She really has no friends at all left.
Our parents are both dead now and one of the reasons I do stay in touch with her is that she's the only blood relation I have now (and I'm hers). I feel sorry she has nobody but know exactly why she has no friends left.

When our parents were alive they certainly did say 'well you know exactly what she's like.' She fell out with them spectacularly on many occasions. She's always been the same, even when she was a small child.