Partners behaviour

[BumpVee]

Ive been with my partner for 8 years and we have a nearly 4 year old. He has always been a loner type person and doesn’t have any friends that he keeps in contact with but I feel like he just has a hatred towards EVERYONE. He always finds something negative to say about them including his own family but more recently he has been sharing his political views and views on trans people ect with me and the way he speaks is with such hatred, that it’s actually severely turned me off him. I don’t even want him to touch me cause he makes me cringe. I know people have all kinds of opinions and that’s fine but I’m not bothered by anyone who doesn’t bother me and he gets annoyed because I don’t agree with him and says I’m brainwashed. He wasn’t always this way but I feel like he has got significantly worse over the past year or so. Is anyone else’s partner like this or do you know anyone like this because I’m find it very difficult to deal with and would appreciate some advice

It’s exhausting though

I’m literally sat doing it now. Nothing has happened, I’ve took the kids to bed, I’ve washed the pots and tidied around while he does nothing yet he is sighing loudly and shaking his legs because he’s unhappy with something. He wants me to ask but I won’t. It’s a miserable existence.

Make plans to leave him.

It’s my house 😭 no one ever believes that it isn’t always as straight forward as leaving (not you).

Of course its going to be hard to leave or to get him to leave. And quite possibly dangerous too. But get cracking. You will find your life on the other side of this disastrous relationship.

Are you married?

No. I would have to issue him with an eviction (it’s not called that but I’ve forgotten what it’s called) and he would be on the streets. I’ve tried and he stayed in a hotel until money ran out and then knocked on the door upsetting everyone. He’s not a decent man. He never, ever does the right thing. He verbally tormented me and pushed me to a very dark place. The irony is we see his parents weekly and yet he says he hates them, he wouldn’t go to them like most men do in the interim. I dream of him meeting someone else and leaving me for her but even that is awful because I don’t think every woman could endure what I have.

But you let him back in. If you'd held firm then (maybe called the police if he got angry or wouldn't leave), you would be free of him now.

Yes, it would have been a rough time and distressing, but it would have been done with. Instead you've got a slow grind unto death unless you try again.

He has parents he sees, they could help him. He could find a HMO or potentially go into a hostel if they won't have him.

It's not a choice of on the streets or with you.

Why do you want to continue to be his victim? It's a miserable existence, but him leaving for someone else scares you?

Maybe look into doing the Freedom Programme and talking to Women's Aid.

For clarity, I meant it is my dream that he meets someone else 😂

You are correct about most things though. I don’t know what to tell you. Although I would like to say that being abused alters your brain chemistry.

It does. 💐Sorry.

But ... this is your one and only life.

Thank you x

Listen- this is exactly how society is starting to condition people and it’s working! Newspapers, the news, social media- it’s all strategically reported to help form people’s opinions and it’s feeding in- the more you watch the more it’s aimed to you- cookies on your phone etc. Everything is being reported negatively in our world today and it seems to be rampant- it’s not hard for people to start either believing everything, or forming really opposing views! Divide and conquer…… this isn’t a husband problem- this is a slow burning world wide problem- coming at all angles. Negative stories about human rights, women, crimes, immigration issues, cost of living. It’s all happening at once, rapidly and something will eventually go bang- almost like they want people to start fighting to distract from the root of these bigger issues