Experiences of dealing with an elderly narcissist in later life

[KellyK2026]

I’m curious for anyone who has dealt with an elderly narcissist person, what are the common traits and what was your experience?

What relationship are tbey to you? Do you live with them?

ExDP had to be the centre of attention, even on my birthday.

Simply older versions of themselves (grandparent) but now able to drum up and weaponise additional sympathy to their largely self-created problems by playing the 'poor old me' card with oscar winning performances. I am often told I am a patient person and this pushed me to my limits, I ended up very unhappy and isolated because I was always chasing their approval and trying to keep the peace. It still bothers me when I think about it. I rearranged my life and wasted younger years coddling someone who had zero respect for me and sabotaged both themselves and broad efforts from others to help them.

Constant guilt trips, emotional blackmail, lies, especially when challenged. They had also always been attention seeking (classic narc) now this ramped up 100% with fake health problems. They would wake ppl up on purpose with some fabricated problem, by either shouting to wake them up, or making random phone calls to other relatives and friends. Everyone dreads a 3am call - they knew that and used it to their advantage, knowing you'd pick up thinking it was an emergency. I had many disturbed nights and was working at the time. They showed zero compromise and zero respect for anyone else's commitments, feelings, needs and dominated every social situation with shouting, insults and drama. In case anyone is wondering, no they did not have dementia. All of the above was just a worsened version of the alcohol bingeing narcissist they had always been.

Suffice to conclude they generated a big therapy bill for me.
If you're dealing with any of this OP, please try to build up a support network, you'll need it, I wish I'd reached out for more support x