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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just need to rant

11 replies

yellowflower29 · 09/08/2026 14:58

I’ve been up since 3.30am with my 2 and a half year old so when she napped today I fell asleep as well then when I woke up I came in to the lounge and asked her dad if he will wake her up as she is groggy when she wakes and I felt groggy myself and just needed a minute. He mocked me when I came in for how I wasn’t really with it and then I replied ‘I’m not with it I fell asleep’ he said to me after about 10 minutes did you fall asleep? I said yes I did I already told you that (and isn’t it obvious I’d been gone for an hour and a half or so) he didn’t like the ‘tone’ I used although I really didn’t think I did use one and he instantly started getting angry saying I speak to him like a cunt and fuck this he’s going (he doesn’t live with me it’s his day off and came to spend it with us) so he left. I called him and he started shouting to a level that isn’t normal saying I speak to him like a cunt and told me to fuck off and called me a cunt, he said why did we even have our daughter too. I didn’t call him any names and I said to him I don’t feel that I deserve to be spoken to like that when I didn’t actually feel I said anything wrong in the first place. I’ve felt unhappy for quite some time now and actually feel he can speak to me however he wants mocking me and speaking off to me but I don’t raise it through fear he will get angry so for this to happen I feel isn’t fair when he can speak to me however he wants. I feel so lost and know he will not speak to me now until I reach out and expects an apology and he has done this several times now he leaves and I have to care for our child when I feel so distraught after an argument and he does as he pleases. I can’t just run away from looking after her like he does each time. Can anyone just share thoughts about this cos I literally don’t speak to anyone about any of these issues and I can’t see clearly if this is me that’s in the wrong?

OP posts:
Theyrhome · 09/08/2026 14:59

I’ve felt unhappy for quite some time now

yes, I imagine you have

Theyrhome · 09/08/2026 14:59

Your partner doesn’t live with you and his child?

Benefits?

yellowflower29 · 09/08/2026 15:01

@theyrhomehe doesn’t, he did but after arguments and realising we can’t actually live together we made it ‘work’ through living separately. So he stays occasionally and on his days off he usually spends it with us so he’s just left today after this has happened

OP posts:
Theyrhome · 09/08/2026 15:02

yellowflower29 · 09/08/2026 15:01

@theyrhomehe doesn’t, he did but after arguments and realising we can’t actually live together we made it ‘work’ through living separately. So he stays occasionally and on his days off he usually spends it with us so he’s just left today after this has happened

So you get benefit entitlement as a single person.

yellowflower29 · 09/08/2026 15:05

@theyrhomeno. It is nothing to do with benefits. I have my home he has his, I fell pregnant and we decided to live together once we knew we were going to be a family but it didn’t work because of the level of our arguments and realising we can’t handle living together so we’ve tried separate but these issues keep happening.

OP posts:
Theyrhome · 09/08/2026 15:07

yellowflower29 · 09/08/2026 15:05

@theyrhomeno. It is nothing to do with benefits. I have my home he has his, I fell pregnant and we decided to live together once we knew we were going to be a family but it didn’t work because of the level of our arguments and realising we can’t handle living together so we’ve tried separate but these issues keep happening.

If you say so

all in all… it sounds utterly awful and let’s be honest… it’s not going to change.

MiceSpiders · 09/08/2026 15:10

I managed to get to the ripe age of 34 without 'falling' pregnant until I decided to actively do so. Good God this man is awful but you knew that and had a baby with him anyway. Your best bet is to get rid and hope he gives up seeing the baby after a while

Bonkers1966 · 09/08/2026 15:15

Wow. What a prince. You don't have to stay with him. You could co-parent like thousands of others. Then he could call you names on a court mandated parenting app whete everything is recorded.

whippersnapper55 · 09/08/2026 15:52

Why don't you just end the relationship with this man who treats you like this? Why put up with it?

ImmortalSnowman · 09/08/2026 15:56

Wouldn't you be better with a 50:50 custody arrangement? You sort childcare when you have your toddler and he sorts it on his time. You can co parent without him being anywhere in your home.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 09/08/2026 16:04

I'm sorry OP, but he sounds absolutely ghastly.
He's very rude and disrespectful.

At least you have the option of ending it.
Just ignore him and don't let him back in - it's not like he brings anything positive to your life.

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