Anyone else finding their relationship with a difficult sister increasingly draining?

[Hithismyname]

I love my sister dearly but she is getting me down. We are both in our 40s and for quite a good few years now she has been difficult.
When she is nice she is lovely and we have a very good time, but then she can turn and she be moody and not speak without a reason.
We have fallen out a few times and its always been over very trivial things. She used to only be awful when she drank and its quite rare that she drank but now she is awful either way.
We have just been on a trip away and we fell out over bus and train times and directions. When she goes away with my mam they always fall out too. She has had outbursts with other people too. She never sees it as her fault though its always everyone else and never apologises.
Last year she went away for a few nights and I was going to her house to feed her bird, she messaged saying I didnt need to check him first day as he'd been fed etc so I'd didnt go. She sent me nasty messages and then deleted me and blocked me and my partner off Facebook who had nothing to do with it. I sent her screen shots of her telling me I didnt need to visit her bird that day. Next day she never apologised and acted like nothing happened and then proceeded to not talk to me for 2 months not even seeing her neice or nephew. Its all very strange and draining me. She lives alone and I think thats why I give in alot as dont want her lonely.
Has anyone else got a relationship like this with their sister? I'm easy going and just want to get a long but she makes it so hard.

Yes I don’t speak to her anymore but I have 3 other sisters. She ran off with our older sisters husband and also attempted to seduce mine. After Mum died we all dropped her. We didn’t say a word no drama

People make choices if their awful people why tolerate them.

I would not want my children round such poor behaviour.

My siblings were bullies growing up, parents didnt model healthy behaviours. Siblings put themselves first every time, have emotional problems and have not done introspectove work on themselves.
After years of upset i keep my distance, i never chase them. Sick of being let down.
Your sister sounds like she has personality difficulties.

@ViciousCurrentBun that situation is horrible but you have done the right thing.
I'm finding it all quite hard as im quite soft and dont stick up for myself.

@ForPinkDuck yes I definitely think she has personality issues she is like Jekyl and Hyde.

My sister has been my adult best friend since I was 20 but she’s about to turn 50 and she’s suddenly changed. It’s like she’s bitter suddenly about everything. It’s a competition (only between herself) that she has it worse (she doesn’t by the way!). Even down to putting my holiday choices down or trying to at least. I had her round with my friend about 2 months ago and after a few drinks she started going on about people who had Botox were superficial or vain. Knowing full well my friend has Botox. It was so embarrassing! The only thing I can put it down to is she’s in the grips of menopause and is not feeling in g so great about herself so has turned into putting others down. It’s sad to see and she’s influencing her 11 year old daughter without realising it! In fact I had my niece round not long ago and she told me that people that holiday in Spain are chavs! I said why do you think that? She said “my mum said so”. Silly thing is they only holiday in France as they won’t fly so now every other holiday is shit to them 😂 It’s so sad to see her become like this but maybe deep down it’s what she’s always been like and now the mask is off?

@Elmer83 yes its so sad to see isn't it. My sister does say oh its menopause etc but she been like this most of her life but it is getting progressively worse. I am pre menopause and have my moments but not like this. Its the nastiness that hurts the most.

I adore my sister but it’s taken therapy to understand I don’t have to take everything she says at face value, or get involved with dysfunctional situations that make us both unhappy. A bit more separation has improved our relationship.

I’m NC for very got reasons with one sibling and the other one is trying my patience.
She pokes her nose into everything, spreads gossip whether it’s factual or not and pries into everyone’s lives.
I think it’s because she has to be needed by everyone, convinces herself that they can’t manage without her.
She is also irritatingly Pollyanna - ish, everything has to be bright, cheerful and she won’t listen if you try to talk reality rather than Lala land.
Getting ready exasperated now.

My sister is 10 years younger and has always been difficult. She burned through marriage / partnerships, uprooted relationships to move abroad (because she wanted to) and got fired from jobs for being forthright!

All her life she has done exactly what she wanted, when she wanted and is now alone and bitter.

She is so angry with people who are happy and in long term relationships. She twists everything to make her look like a victim and everyone else a villain.

When my husband died, she swooped in and within the month, told me and my children off for wallowing in ‘our triangle of misery’ She told stories of her patients dying over the family Christmas lunch and when asked not to, flew into a rage.

She’s so narcissistic and jealous that she was even furious that I was diagnosed with the family curse (heart failure) before she was!

I loved and have fond memories of the child she was, but she’s so toxic and can’t be trusted, I sadly keep her away. It’s sad but that’s how it is.

I raised an issue with my sister about her not inviting family to see extended family earlier on in the year. The venemous reply was enough to never see her again.
I knew this day would come. Ive been very agreeable to everything to keep the cousins together. It seems that my sister doesn't care about immediate family.
I'm glad it's over now. Dissapointed that the cousins won't see each other until they can drive.

Yes. I'm NC with my sister for her perpetual victimhood and lack of ability to accept any kind of accountability for her poor behaviour/life decisions. She is adamant her boundaries matter (I agree) however can't accept others' rights to boundaries. Two other siblings have nothing to do with her for similar reasons. The youngest sibling maintains the peace but understands our position.

Go nc, protect your peace. Just cos you related dosent mean you'll get on or see eye to eye.

Being menopausal does a lot of things to you, but it doesn't turn you into an arsehole unless you were one already, and just hid it better.