Arrrgh - another classic from mother

[Pagan]

Conversation between me and mother on day before giving birth ...

Mother: Hope you've got lots of food in.
Me: Yes the freezer is full, why?
Mother: So DH doesn't have to worry about what to have for dinner whilst you are in hospital
Me: I'm sure he's perfectly capable of going to a supermarket if need be
Mother: Yes, but he'd have to trail DD to the supermarket with him and you can't have that
Me: I have to trail DD with me and I'm 9 months pregnant
Mother: But you are her mother
Me: " " speechless

And today on phone as she enquired if I'd slept any better (DS is 4 days old) "You need to watch you don't smother him constantly nursing him all the time (he b/f voraciously).

Does it get any better and will she have anything positive to say?

Sigh ....

poor you. My mum and MIL are always coming out with little gems that drive me completely insane. My mum seemed astounded when I told her I was leaving 8 month old ds with dh to go away for one night with some friends 'that's very good of him' she said!! Like I don't cope when he goes away!!

"Does it get any better and will she have anything positive to say?"

Probably not. But just smile, nod and consider it Mumsnet fodder for later

If she's like my mum she will get the message and shut up in the not so distant future. If she's like my MIL good luck is all I can say

Ma to me on the phone 'Where is dh'
'In the kitchen '
'What is he doing there'
'Cooking tea'
'He will leave you , you know'
'but he was home 2 hours before me, so it is only fair that he does tea'
'Oh you and your fair'

I sometimes think that my mother was from a different species to me

hmb - that's soooo funny - I think you're mother is from another species than me and I'm probably her generation! Personally, I like your style!

Pagan - yours is just as bad - I'm truly shocked at these women - I brought all my kids (boys too) to be independent and capable!

Jooles2, I bet you are not as old as my mum, I'm bloody old you know
Irony is that MIL is like me. Sems to be more my generation than my mother's

well MY mother is 80 and was WAY ahead of her time - my dad has always helped in the home - so that was the message I got.

Mum told me a story about how the women she was playing golf with had to get home to cook their sons dinner - these guys were 20's 30's - she couldn't believe it and neither can I!

My mum is 78, so I think that we are the same generation. Mums was very traditional in all but one respect she always wanted to work because as she put it' no-ones money is quite as nice as your own!'

my mum also worked - us girls had jobs to do and always did our own rooms and I passed that on.

As for 'your own money being the best' hmmm I'll pass on that one - I like spending dh's money

What gets on my tits frankly is when women refer to their dhs 'babysitting' as if
A) The blokes are doing them a big favour
B) They're not even their kids!

(My mother is great but my mil sacrificed her life to her boys. won't even sit at the table when we're there. Too busy 'serving'!!! Literally.)

Well my mum always struggle to say anything positive.... so sympathies Pagan and Hmb!

DD has lovely curly hair - her "you know when you cut them her curls will disappear (not grow back)" - as if that would make her day !

DS spoke well from an early age, she lives abroad so she doesn't see him more than once a year but she speaks on the phone to him every other week - her "he stutters quite a bit, not very mature his conversation".... WHAT ???????? he is 5 FFS!!!! (and BTW he doesn't stutter at all but he tends to be nervous on the phone with her)

She can't say how wonderful my kids are, she has to find faults.... I now ignore it.

velcro that's so sad - I'm not surprised he's nervous on the phone with her if that's her attitude!

Glad to know it's not just mine . It's weird coz she was 40 when she had me and I always admired the freedom she gave me as I was growing up in a different generation from what she'd have been used to. But now she seems to say all the wrong things and comments on everything that is none of her business like I'm suddenly not capable or to be trusted with my independence.

Oh and I always feel guilty after I've pointed out to give me a break!!

HMB - forgot to mention - I think our mothers are one in the same. I too am made to think that I should be eternally grateful that DH married me and therefore should attend his every need else he'll leave me.

to be honest i think it's envy! And if they notice you are happy then they like to rain on your parade....

Too right, vb. I could give you a million examples of the delightful things my mum has said about ds, including calling him 'mentally disturbed'... And she's spent half her life raining on my parade.

Really it's all about her, not him or me. I just try to remember that when she winds me up. She does love us to pieces, though. Just has a funny way of showing it sometimes!

Pagan, you must be my long lost sister!

When we got engaged she said to us, 'I just want you to know, that if you two ever argue I will be on your side 'hmb's dh' ' And she bloody meant it too!