Dating site occasionally turns up in our internet history

[claricestarling]

He and I met on a dating site.

We are now an established relationship, expecting a baby. Thrilled.

I deleted my dating site membership over a year ago.

He still has his, albeit a non-paying membership, so not a full member.

He still receives "winks" from women, which generates an email to his hotmail address and he logs in to see who it was.

This worries me. So far, they've been ordinary looking women. What happens if some complete robobabe winks at him?

WHY IS HE EVEN INTERESTED???

If I ask or comment, I'm "digging".

Am I being paranoid and hormonal and he's just being nosey? Or should I be worried?

Message withdrawn

I think the respect issue, to be honest. And the fact that he is even looking.

Well, it's hard to compare because men are different in their attitude and often don't analyze as much as us girlies But, I'm still a member of a dating site that I was on before I met my DP. We didn't meet via the site, and bceause the site in question is also for friendship, penpals etc I've kept my profile active but changed my staus to "Seeing someone". All well and good. Sometimes I get a mail to say someone has expressed an interest in my profile, but I don't log in to see who. If I get an email I will eventually check it if I remember, in case it's from someone looking for a friend. Though it usually isn't. My profile is also horribly out of date, apart from the seeing someone bit.

So - what is on his profile, does he state he's looking for dating/friends whatever? When did he last update it? (Not just log in) I would arm myself with this knowledge and then just ask him. Again. Say something like, I saw blahblah site came up on the computers history, are you still going on there? Why? But then I'm very direct me, and also a bit suspicious.

The worst thing you can do about it is brood over it. There might be a reasonable explanation, or it might be that he enjoys the ego massage of knowing he's fancied but still loves you v much...
Although it's a bummer, the best thing to do is broach the subject and see what he says. You can go by his reaction as well as any explanation on working out how to proceed next. I certainly don't think its unreasonable to ask - he should be happy to reassure you, surely - even if he thinks you're being daft?

Take care
xx

can I just say that I met my DP through a dating website....recently I have renewed because a friend of mine is on it & wanted me to look at his profile.
Thats the only reason I am still on the site.
I just ignore winks or "you are compatable with..." because I am only on for my friend.

is it possible your DP is on for this reason?
might be worth the question....

Message withdrawn

This is Dating Direct, specifically for meeting potential partners. You can't see profiles of same sex, unless you are gay, and then you only see other gay people's profiles.

His profile is exactly the same as it was when we met. "I am looking for a woman who is blah blah blah". Doesn't seem to have been updated, except he did wink at some exceptionally pretty girl last July, when we were very rocky. I finished with him just after that, for other reasons - his lack of commitment and hanging round with his ex - and he's been impeccably behaved since then - apart from this.

By the way, when you're a basic member you can't email or contact other members, you can only wink at them. You have to pay subscription to have any kind of contact.

Message withdrawn

Ahh, well I can understand why you finished with him in July, I would have done the same.
Do you feel that he is sort of slipping back into that place? I mean, why is he bothered anyway checking who winked at him if he can't contact them? Surely he has other things to think about - like your impending new arrival?
Sounds like you need to have a sit down and explain how it makes you feel - he could be being really dense and just needs telling that it's not helpful/acceptable. But it's not exactly ideal behaviour, no, not from how you've described it.

I hope you get it sorted out.
x

I think he is just being thick, to be honest. When I've asked him about it before, he hasn't really got why it bothers me. I think his curiosity gets the better of him. However, last time we spoke about it I wasn't pregnant and hormonal. This time I am. I shall tackle it tomorrow when I am less tired and can deal with the inevitable argument a bit better.

Can I just add, in his defence, he is very into the pregnancy, he is gutting the house to redecorate everything before the baby comes, our relationship, since we broke up last August has been brilliant otherwise I would never have agreed to the pregnancy. Everything else is perfect. He comes to all the appointments with me, etc etc.

Just this f**king dating site. I think one big row and he'll delete the profile.

That's not acceptable behaviour imo; it is very disrespectful...tell him if he's committed to you and the baby he should bloody well act like it.