Should I stop telling my grandmother about travel to spare her worry?

[Kate8889]

My grandma was always my person, she helped raise me until I was 9 and has always been on my side.

Unfortunately as she's getting older (90 this year), she's getting anxious about my mom and me. If we tell her we're traveling, for example, she won't sleep because she's worried something might happen to us.

I have always told her everything but my mom is asking me to not tell her when she's on a business trip because her blood pressure will go up as she worries and it's no good for anyone.

It feels wrong to keep things from my grandma but on the other hand I don't want her staying up and worrying, esp when there's no cause to.

Thoughts? I'm just so used to being 100% unfiltered when I talk with her and it makes me sad.

Rather a small fib than have her worried and anxious though, surely?

Don't tell her! My husband's late mother never knew that he rode a motorbike (including on a fairly dangerous trip abroad). She also never knew when he was in hospital with a heart problem.
This was his choice - as he said, what was the point in making an old lady anxious? It's just common sense to restrict information if it's going to cause concern.

Don't tell her. If you know that she'll lose sleep over it then it's better for her to have a full night's sleep than to know every detail of your life, especially at her age. It's not like you're keeping secrets or telling a lie, you're just editing the conversation to things that she's interested in and that will make her happy.

Tell her about trips afterwards. Saves her the worry.

You don't have to tell her everything. There's really no need if it's just going to cause her upset.

On three occasions I've thought it important to tell the truth, and in doing so, upset people.

The worst was at a family get together, when my MIL with advanced dementia, suddenly asked where 'that man' was. That man was my late husband who's been dead for five years. Caught on the hop and feeling unable to lie to her, I told her very gently, that he'd died. She looked stricken, and sobbed. I've never quite forgiven myself.

Basically not wanting to lie/be open in these situations, is about us. We should be focusing on the person who will be upset or anxious. Telling a white lie to someone we love is the right thing to do sometimes.