Am I doing something wrong, or is my marriage simply over? I feel unbearably lonely
I’m lonely. Not just a bit fed up or in need of more friends — the kind of lonely that hurts right to my core.
I’m married and have a six-year-old child, yet I have never felt more isolated. I work six days a week, then come home to chaos and the same monotonous routine of cooking, cleaning, washing and sleeping.
I’ve been married for eight years, but since I was pregnant, my husband has seemed more interested in watching ph than spending any time or being intimate with me. I have raised it with him several times, but nothing has changed.(adult sites have always been a hidden pleasure of my DH’s but it suddenly just took over) I have now been sleeping in the spare room for over two years.
We don’t talk about our relationship, love, intimacy or emotions. Whenever I try, he avoids the conversation or shuts it down. There is no affection at all — no cuddles, tenderness, reassurance or warmth.
I’m a very passionate and loving person. When I love somebody, I give them everything I have. All I want in return is to feel loved and cared for, but I don’t get that from him at all.
I’m genuinely very ‘low maintenance’. I don’t ask for gifts, expensive dates or grand gestures. That almost makes it more painful, because I feel as though I’m asking for the most basic thing possible: love and affection from my husband.
I know people will probably ask why I haven’t left. The truth is that we have a six-year-old and there are currently too many practical, financial and emotional ties for me to feel able to divorce right now. But I also can’t believe this is supposed to be my life forever. Life cannot possibly be this sad.
I suppose I’m posting because I need some outside perspective. Am I expecting too much? Is there something I’m doing wrong? Has anyone lived like this and managed to change things, or do I need to accept that the marriage is already over even if we are still living under the same roof? I’m 34 btw and he’s 44.