Following on from the secrets in families thread...

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

here

I thought I'd ask for some advice for in the future. My daughter is nearly 3, and she knows my (step)dad as her grandfather (I have called him dad since I was 2).
I am not in contact with my biological father. But I am in contact with his mother.

Would this be something you would openly explain to your child, or just skim over the facts and hope nobody (mean) says anything?

I would tell her when she is a little older.

Im in eatcly same position, will probably mention it when she is a lot older.

at what age do you think it would be something she can understand but not be bothered by?
The only time I can remember seeing my biological father is at my granddad's funeral when I was 17, and even then we didn't speak because he felt we should approach him rather than the other way around. I was happy keeping the status quo!
I dont want it to be an issue for her iyswim, but dont want it to be a big shock in the future.

I will probably mention it to my dd1 when i tell her about her own father, so probably about 10ish.

For me the biggest thing was that everyone in the family knew about the situation (ie 20+ people) except me and my sibling. I wouldl much prefer to have known about it all along and hated the idea of this secret. I was very very angry about that aspect for a long time after finding out and still get steamed up if I dwell on it.

I would just be very matter of fact about it and not treat it as a big issue, but nor as a secret which she might find out about from someone else anyway (which is how I found out!)