Birthday gift for my FWB, yes or no?

[StayWildLunaChild]

Hi,
Just after a bit of advice please. I have a FWB. It’s his birthday the second week of August. Do I get him a card and a small gift (non romantic obviously)? I just don’t know. I’m scared to get him one in case he thinks I’ve developed feelings (I haven’t) but at the same time I’ll feel pretty bad if I don’t get him anything, especially as he has asked me if we can see each other on his birthday. We are very close, we speak every day, see each other once a week if we can, support each other, give each other advice, it’s just a lovely friendship with very enjoyable sex thrown in the mix!
Thank you 🤩

Have you had a birthday since you became FWB? Did he get you anything? Or for Christmas?

Were you friends before the sex? Then yes I would because friends give gifts.

If you started out having sex from the get-go, then no I wouldn’t.

Don't people enter FWB arrangements because they don't want the hassle of a traditional relationship? Every thread on MN about FWB arrangements presents them as a minefield of etiquette problems and difficulties.

Shouldn't it be simply if the F does actually stand for friend then you do what you would normally do to mark a friend's birthday - send a card, give a present, buy them a birthday drink or whatever? If the F part is just a meaningless letter in an acronym just ignore the birthday and get on with the sex.

If its feeling this complicated for you, you have exited FWB territory

Card, take away on you and a BJ. Pressies are okay so long as they are not personal or significant IYSWIM

no card

but a provocative gift, might be jokey

something for fun

Would you take a friend a small gift if you were seeing them on their birthday, or just a card? Do what you’d do for a friend. Keep the content in the card cheeky/funny rather than anything that could seem heartfelt.

Bottle of nice wine or bubbly for you two to share when he next comes over? Card probably not necessary.

The fact you’re reading into how he might view it screams no to me. is he the type who gets clenchy over the f word?

I would give a fun friendly card as it’s my friend, and a non romantic gift eg a funny mug or a bottle of wine

I think as he’s wanted to share his birthday with you why don’t you suggest going for a meal together or cinema etc… see how he responds to a date scenario. Then at least you would know.