Is this normal, do I just expect too much?

[deeeja]

Basically my dh is quite helpful with the children, and even can be around the house. Yet ther is something in the way he goes about this that makes me feel uncomfortable. My 3 year old and 19 month old ds's don't sleep well at night, so I am usually up with them into the small hours, and have disturbed(hourly) sleep until around 6/7am, when it is time for school for 5 year old. So if I can, I get an hour's sleep in the morning, while dh looks after little ones, usually he takes them out. This is fine and helps me to sleep. But then every so often, he will complain that he is 'always' looking after the children, and never gets stuff done. I don't understand how he can say this because I nevr get any sleep, am constantly exhausted, and feel ill most of the time.
I have alot of other issues, and for various reasons am depressed and the gp is suggesting I seek psychiatric help and is referring me. For some reason I do not feel comfortable talking to dh about this, because he will not be supportive, and feel as though I am on a knife's edge, and anything could set me off. This makes me feel resentful towards my dh, because shouldn't he be supportive about this, instead of making me feel uncomfortable. Whenever I have tried to tell him how I feel, he makes me feel silly. I can't cry in front of him because he ignores me and I have to admit, has laughed at me on occasion, I don't thin this is right, is it?
I wonder if dh is being psychologically and emotionally abusive towards me, and I just have not noticed it all this time.

It doesn't sound right at all when you say he laughs at you or makes you feel silly for crying. Your partner should make you feel comfortable and loved ESPECIALLY when you're upset. Is it possible for you to try and tell him all of this, but perhaps with a mediator present, perhaps through conselling? You can't keep all this bottled up inside you.

My heart goes out to you, I hope you figure this out

You really do sound like you're struggling but part of depression can be a certain amount of paranoia. Thats not to say your DH isn't being supportive or that he isn't behaving as he should, just that your perception may be coloured at the moment by your own low mood. He may not KNOW how to handle your emotions and be bumbling his way through by trying to ignore/make light of it (a very male reaction). Abuse is a VERY strong word and you do need to be sure before you head down that road.

I would suggest you tell him how you feel and how his behaviour is making you feel, tell him your gp is so concerned he's referring you for further help and explain that now, more than ever, you need his support and understanding. If he's to understand, you need to tell him. If he doesn't change his behaviour then you know there's something wrong.

Well done for seeking help, hope you start to feel stronger soon {{{dee}}}

You need help from your GP as it sounds like you could be depressed.

But I think you also need help urgently with your children's sleep problems. If you're up into the small hours all the time then you will be suffering from sleep deprivation which will make you feel shit anyway.

Could it be that your DH is expressing his frustration with your children not sleeping?

You must be able to talk to your DH and he should be there to support you.