Fair way to split bills when moving into partner’s house?

[Cherry40]

My partner and I have been together for over 2 years. We’ve spoken of marriage and obviously living together.
A few weeks ago he told me he’s been looking for a house for all of us to share. I have a child and so does he.
At the moment I’m renting a flat and he owns his flat.
Anyway we we to visit a house last week and loved it he told me he wants to put an offer in.
‘I’m not sure what a fair split for bills would be he earns 7000 and I earn 1500 a month

On the one hand I’m super happy but also wary as the house will be in his name and rightly so but if we were to split up I would nothing and have to start all over again.

I imagine you’re on benefits now which you’ll lose if he’s on that big salary, so factor that in

even if you own a portion of the house, I would still be hesitant to proceed if your share is small and the rental market is tight. If you won’t leave the situation with enough money to house yourself and your child, you should not enter the arrangement.:

OP is renting now, isn’t paying any deposit and isn’t going to be paying towards the mortgage. They only talk about paying bills so why on earth are people saying they must be put on the house deeds of someone theyve been going out with for just 2 years?

OP is doing nothing to be entitled to be on the deeds of her boyfriend’s house

yes it’s risky moving into someone’s house it always is. How much are you currentlypaying for rent and bills now? Will you be worse off moving in with him?

you need to make sure you’ve got deposit and a couple of months rent available if you do split up

If he owns it you put the money you would be paying towards the rent in a separate account - in your name only - in case you split up and need to buy/rent again

Agree - the OP does not have a house now so is not losing out.

Also, a parent has to protect their kids futures too.

Let's say he was buying a house for 400k, cash. If he drops down dead in 5 years (keep things simple, house is still worth 400k) - his kids get 400k. If he splits the house then OP would get 200k, and kids 200k, not right IMO.

If I was to move in with someone I would expect a % of the value I put in. So if we bought a house together for 600k, and she put in 400 and I put in 200, I would only expect/deserve 1/3 of any future sale/split. Anything else would not be fair on her kids. If she put in 540 and I put in 60, then I should only get 10%

Let him buy the house in his name but don’t move in. Sorry but if he’s paying the deposit and most of the bills then I wouldn’t make it 50/50 or put your name on either. You aren’t married . Wait until you get engaged or married and then talk houses.

Will you lose any benefits?

If you're paying bills you should be gaining house equity for it. Add all your bills, split them proportionally based on your salaries. DO NOT say, you pay the mortgage, I pay the electric... you pool and each pay a proportion of every bill.

@Cherry40 think you're being very naive.
You basically risk all your security while he risks nothing. And you have a child to think about as well.
I wouldn't want my daughter to leave herself so vulnerable. 2 years isn't long and your families haven’t even trialled living together.

Can he put the deposit down, and ring fence it, then you pay equal into the mortgage, and have both names on the deeds. Use your rent money for the mortgage.

’but if we were to split up I would (have) nothing and have to start all over again’

but that’s the situation you’re in now so you won’t be losing anything. I wouldn’t expect him to put you on the mortgage if you’re not paying towards it.

'A few weeks ago he told me he’s been looking for a house for all of us to share.'

You sound quite passive in this. Is this the timeline you want to be doing this on or are you going along with it because he's started the process?

If it didn't work out and you needed to leave, yes you wouldn't be in a worse financial position but how easy is it to find a rental? Where I am the demand is far bigger than the availability and people are living in hotels for many months as there are no affordable rental properties.

Two years doesn't sound long especially with children involved. Make sure you are comfortable with the pace and please don't rush into anything because it's what (or when) he wants.

Good luck, all the best

Proportional to income.

Though if I’m honest I wouldn’t expect a man who earns 7000 a month to ask me to put my hand in my pocket. There’s no need if he’s that well off.

Apart from paying for your kids food shopping of course.

If you want security though I’d rent together somewhere first to see it’s workable and then get married before looking to buy.

Why are you not looking together for a place to live together? Is your opinion not valid if he's paying. Nanny with a fanny vibes....

It's difficult because you don't really know what the bills will be. I would presume as a household of four in a house, the bills will rise, council tax, etc, from what you're paying now in your rental flat.

You don't want to end up in a situation where you agree to pay 50/50 on bills and you end up unable to pay your half comfortably. It might make more sense for it to be in proportion to your income.

You need to be able to stay within your own budget (unless he's talking about pooling all resources and being fully financially entwined, not minding that your income is lower). You ideally would have enough leeway financially to be able to put away a bit either to buy into his property eventually or as a fallback in case you need to move out.

You shouldn't pay towards his mortgage up until the point you're married or on the deeds.

What's the plan regarding the dc? Will his dc have access to more opportunities than yours, like I dunno, school trips abroad and horse riding lessons? Or would he want to treat them the same?

I think I might hold off on moving in until the bills are a known factor.

if you are on the deeds you need to pay towards the mortgage as you would benefit from any value increase and his deposit is ring fenced as its his money and it sounds like he can afford the house without you.
but this would be in the future- you need to live together 1st to make sure it all works out- a couple of hours reading the step parent section should open your eyes a bit!

Guarantee if this was the other way around, the responses would be VERY different. If the OP had £200k to put into a new house and DP was renting with no savings, not one single person here would suggest he goes on the title deeds.

With all due respect; the OP has a lot less to lose than her DP. She goes back to renting whilst her DP could lose half of his deposit.

Rent together first for a year, split bills based on a % of income and see how well you cope living together first, and during that time you may be more than ‘partners’

I would only agree to purchase a house as tenants in common with his deposit ring fenced (so he’ll get his money back if you split up) and you contribute a proportion of your earnings towards bills and mortgage. As he’s the higher earner, he would pay the bulk of the mortgage and bills and that could be factored in the tenants in common agreement. For example if he pays 70% and you 30% towards the mortgage and utility bills and insurance, should you split up, he gets back his full deposit and 70% of any profit made on the house sale and you get back 30% of the profit or he buys you out to the same value.

It’s very early days to be buying a house together. If he really wants to buy, then he buys it himself and you pay nothing towards the mortgage or maintenance. You can split bills, food shopping and other living expenses proportionate to your income (him paying roughly 7x more than you plus probably a bit extra), making sure you are able to set money aside in case you need to move back out quickly. In the future, you can be added to the mortgage and deeds and he can ring fence his initial deposit. I would want to be married at that stage and go on to own the house as joint tenants apart from the initial contribution.