Did leaving an emotionally abusive partner turn out best in the long run

[Seaofgreen]

I left my partner of 6 years as he was being emotionally abusive, giving me the silent treatment, making me feel guilty on a regular basis, falling out with me all the time and being upset with me, refused couples therapy….is this always the right decision to leave, i am 37 now will i ever meet anyone else and have more children? I feel like maybe i should have tried harder with him but my mental health was destroyed. He has so many amazing qualities and is very attractive but i just couldn’t do it anymore.
i guess i am asking has anyone gone back to an emotionally abusive partner and been happy or its worked out? Am i better off in the long run leaving, even if its so so hard right now as i still am very attached

You were right to leave. Stay away.
Are the children his?

You were right to leave.

Stay away and listen to Dr Ramani's podcast. Keep listening to it.😘😘😘💐💐💐

In answer to your thread title - yes. With bells on.

I used to dream of my life without him in it but when we broke up I was in such a state. I couldn't understand why I was so upset when I so desperately wanted to be on my own. It's part of the process of parting from an abuser - they have been fucking with your mind for however long you were with them and when that manipulation is removed it takes a while for you to return to an even keel.

I agree with the Dr Ramani recommendation and also Elizabeth Shaw, it's very helpful to see that you're not alone and to learn that their behaviour is about them, not you.

You will get there @Seaofgreen , you'll have ups and downs, please keep posting if you need or want to, there's always someone here, but keep strong, don't give him any more chances and protect yourself from any more of his harm

Yes we have 2 young children 2 and 5

Oh wow thank you so much, i have felt so so alone throughout it all and i have had so many days i have felt like i have lost everything by leaving, he feels nothing but anger for me now and says i have destroyed everything by leaving - he takes absolutely no responsibility for the reason i left. Its all my fault. I just miss him and you are right my head feels all over the place as i prayed to the universe to be strong enough to leave!

100% the correct decision, honestly.
I’ve raised four kids alone and it’s been exhausting but rewarding. Having the ex here would have been hideous, he literally drained the joy out of life.
I look back with a quiet satisfaction at how it has all turned out for the best. Zero regrets.

How could it ever NOT be “for the best”? 😕

how long have you been separated?

and he went off quietly without a fight?

It’s 25 years since I left my abuser and I don’t regret it, not for a millisecond. My child was 2 at the time. My only regret is agreeing to marry him under pressure, and not leaving sooner.

Because we have children and i loved him, its never that simple or easy. Its a big decision for me

5 months now, he is just angry, no fight for me and for us only anger and bitterness. Emotionally switched off, only messages to either have a go at me or accuse me of taking something from him or nothing at all.

Have you met someone new since who treats you well?

Having been on your other thread - i honestly think he’s had his head turned

Yes. I left my awful partner when I was 38 with two small children. I went on to meet someone else a year or so later then had another child. 10 years later my ex is still an abusive knob. No regrets!

Why do you say that? I have asked him if he has met someone new and he keeps denying it.