Husband and I have had a hard few years, menopause one factor and last year I was in major pain with a trapped nerve which I am now on top of with medication.
Basically our relationship is v up and down. He's not v affectionate and if I ask for a kiss he makes me feel like i'm asking for the earth.
He never really messages me.
a while back he started constantly criticising my food which eventually resulted in him taking over cooking and shopping. He complains about everything, how i stack dishwasher etc.
I always did everything cooked, cleaned child care worked. He never used to help much. Hed lay on sofa while i brought shopping in.. now he chose to cook he thinks im lazy because i do what he did for the past 18 yrs and sit on sofa while he cooks.
We keep falling out, I still love him but he is v hard to live with.i am now at the point where i think he chose this so he can get on with it. He just always seems to be on my case .
This week we went to the sadest funeral. Basically the lady who passed away was mid 40s and was dignosed with illness and passed away within 12 wks. Her husband is lost as is their daughters 12 and 17.. it was so obvious the love they shared and it made me realised im not my husbands one. That kills me.
I try so hard and fail so miserably at every attempt to make him happy.
He slways seems annoyed with me says i ask stupid questions. Last wk he was arsey all day i was trying to orgaise a meal.out with family and everything i suggested was wrong which eventually spoiled my mood.
I made the mistake of asking him why he put something in bin and not recycling bearing in mind he is constantly on my case. It completely escalted and we didnt talk after that . Later when family came he was extremely rude and said hed had to move all the shit off the bed so he cld bring the duvet downstairs to lay on. From what he said i thought he meantt our dog poo'd the bed. What hed meant was id put stuff on the bed when i was clearing some stuff out of loft. Anyway i said to family it was a grumpy house today and he said he wasnt sure which one of my 65 personalities he was dealing with. Then called me a moody old trout.
Weve rowed a lot recently about his lack of interest in seeing me when he gets home. He says he needs time to himself so i started going upstairs when he got home, but thats wrong too.. he never asks how my day was..pulled him.up on this and for a day or two he asks then its back to being on his phone.
Last night he was really arsey again just off and made me feel bad. When i questioned him he started saying stuff like i make half hearted effort. Im a victim always.
I recently booked us a night away with friends and kept reminding him to book it off. Anyway he then tells me hes planned something and had obviously completely forgotten. I felt pretty miffed so i booked the night away anyway and booked a spa day with our friends (wife) instead. When i told him he seemed annoyed once he realised we were meant to be meeting with friends.
Anyway crux of it is Im gutted, he doesnt really respect me or value me. I spend a lot if weekends doing my own thing cos he doesnt want to do anything with me.. son is off to uni in sept and it will be just me n the dog. Not really what i had planned.
I try talking it does no good so i guess now i just have to move foreward with my own plans. I want to start winding down a bit.. a lot has made me think how short life is and how we need to enjoy time we have. I try and talk about future but he just wont.