He brings out the worst in me

[Habesha91]

Me and my husband had a big fight today after he provoked me so many times. I'm currently 8 months pregnant and things have been so hard for me mentally and physically. After we have been shopping, I was running around to sort out stuff and then my cat disappeared because the front door was open. Instead of helping me find my car, he was there by the door smirking and acting like he doesn't care.

I was furious because I was exhausted from working all day and then shopping. I confronted him why he wouldn't help and he came up with silly excuse saying that I should ask for help. When we went to one shop I had to get out to get what we want where he sat in the car. I had to ask him to go shopping with me and help out, I have been doing all the shopping till now since I got pregnant even though I find it very hard sometimes. I clean the house all the time, do the washing, sort out baby stuff and even bought all the baby things myself.

So this argument got really heated and he started saying I can't make decisions etc and doesn't like be asked a question etc then I lost it and started throwing stuff on the kitchen floor. That's not me and I'm embarrassed I did that but he really pushed me to an edge. I was screaming on top of my lungs saying that I'm tired and I don't get any help and eventually started crying so much.

I did say hurtful stuff like I wish I wasn't pregnant and did an abortion etc even though this baby is very much wanted. It's just that I'm mentally drained and I don't feel like I have the right support around me. This is the worst argument we had since we got married two years and I don't think how I can move on from this. Like he brought out an ugly side of me and I was ane emotional wreck. He also called me a pyshco for throwing the stuff around and that I am stressed that's why I'm acting this way.

I really don't think I can forgive him for this and not sure how we can move on from this. I just want to know why someone would do this to a person they love and enjoy it when they are angry. For now, I don't feel like talking to him at all as I feel numb.

I’m sorry babe.

Has your cat come home ?

Unfortunately, some men reveal their true selves when they feel they've got you trapped by pregnancy.

None of this is reasonable:

I have been doing all the shopping till now
I clean the house all the time, do the washing, sort out baby stuff
bought all the baby things myself.

Neither is this!

saying that I should ask for help
doesn't like to be asked a question

Doesn't like to be asked a question? WTF, is he the Emperor of Everything and you his lowly servant?!

I really feel for you. For now, I suggest you stop doing it all and bloody tell him to pull his weight. Also build your support network, as this guy doesn't really look like he'll be all hands on deck when your baby comes.

You lost your temper, understandably in the circumstances.
Give yourself a bit of space, calm down, and when you have, calmly tell your husband you need to have a serious discussion about him pulling his weight in the marriage,
Good luck.

support and encouragement in these times op, one day at a time youll get there

Firstly did your little cat come home?
Secondly dont feel ad for what you have said that the hormones talking!

op I did similar and worse when I was heavily pregnant with my alcoholic useless bellend of an ex husband. It’s been easier with him gone

Leave now before you have the baby. Don't put him on the birth certificate. Put him in your past.

One of you has to be the adult and it's not going to be him.

This will escalate x 1000 when the DC is here.

LTB.

Do you have support from friends and family? I know the feeling and I would stay with people who really care for me until the baby is here. You already do everything yourself, what is your need of him? You will find your peace and serenity away from him, trust us!

You poor thing he is clearly an abuse bastard and they do show their real selves when they have you backed into a corner like pregnant etc. The smirk at your distress is a huge narcissistic sign as is doing sfa and letting you do everything yourself while possibly throwing bouquets at himself for so much as washing a fork. You are not psycho you are a heavily pregnant woman at the end of her tether with a spineless abusive git of a husband. This needs to be a massive wakeup call or you because he will get worse and more useless when the baby comes. Im so sorry you are dealing with this.

Men have a way they can make you feel crazy .. sorry but I don't think it will get better. Earlier you get out the better.. it's the emotional maturity of him

Any chance you can put some physical space between you and the dickhead who believes you will never leave him because of the baby?

Sorry OP he sounds horrible. You were at the end of your tether and it's no wonder you lost it. Can you go and stay with family over the weekend and give yourself some breathing space? You are 8 months pregnant, it's boiling hot and you work as well as doing everything!
Meanwhile he mocks you, doesn't help out and says he doesn't like to be questioned! What a prince. Take yourself out of the situation if you can, even if it means staying in a hotel for a day or two. You need to get away from him to have a long hard think about where you go from here.

Fuck me, this is some escalation even for mumsnet!

Someone who smirks at you when you are upset is not someone you should have within a million miles of you. Let alone as father to your child.

I absolutely agree with the person that said leave before the baby is born because otherwise you’ll be stuck until it goes to nursery as you’re too exhausted.

He enjoys stressing you out by the way. Someone who smirks at the distress of someone he cares about, let alone who is eight months pregnant is a psycho and always will be.

They enjoy breaking people and then making out they are abusive.

I mean he’s smirking at his distressed, eight months pregnant wife so…not really. The quicker she gets out of that bullshit the better,

No. It's very wise advice.

The OP is doing everything whilst heavily pregnant, still working, and her husband is taking delight in seeing her suffer. It's abuse and will get so much worse once the baby arrives.

OP, please reach out to trusted friends and relatives in real life and confide in them about what is going on. There is also Women's Aid; you can contact them whenever you are ready.

It will get worse when the baby arrives.