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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What will women’s refuge do?

4 replies

Pinkelephant2025 · 08/07/2026 17:11

i won’t go into massive details but I am experiencing domestic violence and have just had an argument and he’s stormed out but we share a 2 year old together so he’s going to want to sort out when he can see her. He is verbally abusive in front of my children (I have two older kids too) calling me names and insulting them also and has physically hurt me on quite a few occasions. I feel so alone with this because I haven’t told my family what he’s really like nor have I approached any professionals before he is always threatening to take my child from me claiming I am an unfit mum and I’ve been so drained by everything and depressed I start to believe all he says when he says such nasty things about me. I know I need to leave him I just don’t know whether to approach women’s refuge about this and what will they do when I tell them everything about him?

OP posts:
something2say · 08/07/2026 17:13

Hiya.

Ring the National DV Helpline and chat to one of the workers. They will do a risk assessment and help you make a tailored safety plan. If there are any spaces in any of the safe houses, you might be offered one, and you will work out how to safely leave the home, get to the refuge, be moved in and settled, and then they will work with you to sort everything out and get you on the housing list.

What do you think?

cestlavielife · 08/07/2026 17:18

Tell someone eg your gp womens aid has physically hurt me on quite a few occasions.
Get it out in the open.

Report to police when you safe as this will go on record and he will likely then need to go to court for access. Might be ordered supervised access initially. But if you do not report these assaults then will be harder to argue he is violent

NameChangeScot · 08/07/2026 18:19

cestlavielife · 08/07/2026 17:18

Tell someone eg your gp womens aid has physically hurt me on quite a few occasions.
Get it out in the open.

Report to police when you safe as this will go on record and he will likely then need to go to court for access. Might be ordered supervised access initially. But if you do not report these assaults then will be harder to argue he is violent

This is bad advice. Often reporting can escalate risk and leaving is the riskiest time for women.

I don't have time for a full reply right now op but please contact women's aid, they'll support you and give you some options to keep you and your children safe , they won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. It may or may not be refuse but they will help.

whippersnapper55 · 08/07/2026 18:50

Hi OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please ring the National Domestic Abuse Helpline and speak to someone about how to get to a place of safety with your children. They will be able to help you. If you feel in immediate danger, if he returns, call 999. Please don't suffer this alone, there is help out there so reach out 💐

https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

Homepage - National Domestic Abuse Helpline

Are you experiencing domestic abuse? You are not alone. Find out how the National Domestic Abuse helpline can support you.

https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

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