Single parent of three nearing 40, will I meet someone again?

[Dancemom1]

am i doomed? To ever meet anyone or will i be single forever
i have 3 dc, a toddler, pre teen & teenager.
I have been single almost a year, also have pets and i am soon turning 40.

Why do you think you might be doomed? What have you tried so far?

Having pets shouldn’t doom you, neither will your age… if you’ve co-parenting and get time to meet people than that shouldn’t complicate things too much either.

My crystal ball is on the blink OP.

But have you honestly never known a single parent over 40 to date again?

Tbf I was told on here that having 3 cats would put
men off me 🤣🤣🤣

not personally no @LadyTable and the dc only see their dad one day a week if that

Ive not tried anything yet @CaffeinatedSeagull im just overwhelmed thinking how it would work lol

I’m 40. I have three children and no coparenting by court order. There are loads of men out there who will be interested in you that won’t be the issue. It’s whether you’re interested in them, and if they bring something to your life. I’d say get on the apps and see what’s out there as a first step.

What’s so dreadful about being single?

I think that’s common tbh… and if it isn’t, I’m at least going through similar right now!

‘How it would work’ also depends on who you meet and their circumstances.

You know you have one day a week, use it to get out there and meet new people, go on coffee dates. You can figure a lot of the ‘how will it work’ out later.

Bemused by the doom, being single is bliss. It’s not called freedom for nothing!

Studies showed the happiest sector of society were single (childfree, which doesn't apply, obvs) women.

Do you really want a boyfriend? Apparently online dating is like wading through sewage 🤣

I met my now dh at 41. I had dc. And a huge ddog +2 cats!
We have been married 11 years and have a dc 12..
He is 10 years my junior!
Ime you are looking at things completely wrong.

You need to consider if anyone is good enough for YOU and your dc. Dh maintains he was very fortunate to have met me and been welcomed into dc's lives..

I love this, thank you @Gardenisablooming

Only if you want to be.

ultimately, it’s in your gift.

enjoy and have fun

And my bar was very high at that age!! Dh worked very hard to build relationships with all of my dc...
He still does every day and some are well into adulthood now.

He even embraced being a dgf at 44 !

My sisters 41 in a few weeks she met a lovely man last year still going good with them.
She as 3 adult kids shes also a nan.

Me well no kids and no plans to have any men.

I love it.

Does the ex have the kids? ie. Do you get time to yourself to go out and/or have overnights away?

Yes and no. You will get lots of interest from secret pedofiles, autistic men and avoidants.
Good guy...only if its meant to be, wrriten in the stars :)
I personally gave up, and that decision is so freeing! Men are selfish and manipulative...or autistc or avoidant. Thats me for now untill i meet a unicorn man :)

Why would i get attention specially from autistic men? Interesting

Maybe i am wrong, autistc men wouldnt cope with little kids. Scratch that.

Come to the dating thread @Dancemom1 https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5548886-the-dating-thread-60-summer-fling?page=19&reply=153399757

You will be welcomed there, lots of women in all sorts of different circumstances and in their 40s, 50s and 60s giving it a go, you’ll see a pattern that it’s not always easy but sometimes worth it.

I’m a similar age to you with 2 DCs and a difficult relationship history but I was feeling isolated and wanted to meet someone. I’ve worked hard to change my ways, to improve my sense of self worth and stop dating men who aren’t right for me. And what do you know, a nice one has turned up! It’s not without its difficulties, there are differences in how much we like to communicate between dates, we’re both resident parents and are trying hard not to upset our respective children, for now we’ll see one another when we can and not make any sudden moves and that seems to suit us both but I appreciate it works differently for others.

The only other thing I’d say is to get online - tinder/hinge but only if you’re feeling strong enough. Take interactions with a pinch of salt, treat it as fun/meeting new people and try not to over invest too early. I was surprised how many different men there were on there, all for different reasons, yes there are some time wasters but they aren’t all. Good luck x

Thats one of the best pieces of advice I think I’ve seen on these boards @PinkNeonSign. Thank you.

Thank you @PinkNeonSign also how do i join the thread

Just follow the link. If you comment, or watch the thread you’ll keep getting notifications when people post.